


Dark Paradise

by i_hear_the_birds



Series: Reverie [1]
Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Graphic Description, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-06-28 18:54:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15713052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_hear_the_birds/pseuds/i_hear_the_birds
Summary: Your name is Clara. You lost your family after the apocalypse, and have never felt more alone. When a handsome stranger saves your life, you can't help but have a crush on him. But you question your feelings when you learn that there's a much darker side to Troy Otto.Prequel to Beautiful Nightmare





	1. An Angel Sent From Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! If you haven't read my work before, this story is a prequel to my other story, titled Beautiful Nightmare.  
> If you want to read this one first, then that's cool too :) why did I write the sequel before the prequel, anyway? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Well, please leave me comments because I need to hear from you.  
> Enjoy!  
> xo

You had been home for the weekend from university when all hell broke loose. You’d heard your dog incessantly barking and went to let him out. But he didn’t need to go out. He was barking at someone who was standing on your porch. When you flicked the light on, you were horrified to see that there was a knife in the middle of the man’s chest. He walked up to the glass door and slammed his hands against it, causing you to gasp. He didn’t ask for help. He didn’t speak at all. His eyes were dead and clouded over, and he gnashed his teeth.

He broke through the glass and your German Sheppard protected you, but he wasn’t able to save himself from the monster’s teeth. Upon hearing your horrified screams, your brother had run downstairs with his baseball bat. He yelled something along the lines of “Holy shit, a zombie!” before he bashed in the monster's head.

You knew this was something completely unnatural, something _wrong_. And it was only the beginning. 

It was an epidemic. When you died, you didn’t stay dead. The undead monsters craved flesh. If you were bitten by one of the dead, you were struck with a high fever and then eventually turned. The only certain death was a fatal strike to the head. You and your parents and your brother fled the city like the rest of the people that had survived the first few days of the apocalypse. It was a panicked mess, and you’d never seen so much blood in your entire life.

You didn’t stay anywhere for more than a couple weeks, because everywhere you ended up staying was never safe for long. Either the dead or deadly people drove you away. Your family mainly stuck to the road. 

Your dad died first. Your family was running from a massive herd, and he stayed behind to make sure you got to safety, holding off the dead with his fireman’s axe. You all would have died if your dad didn’t ensure that you were able to get into a car that worked. You sobbed loudly as you watched him disappear beneath a pile of the dead.

Your brother died next, a few weeks later. He’d hid the fact that he had been bitten, until he fell to the ground. You discovered the bite on his ankle, and you cried helplessly when you realized what that meant.

“I’m sorry, sis.” He rasped, as he lay on a makeshift mattress, fever burning through his veins.

_Why didn’t you tell me? When did this happen? How can you leave me?_ You had wanted to say angrily. But you knew it wasn’t his fault. He was scared. He was just a kid. He was seven years younger than you, only fifteen. He never should have lived through any this horrible shit. He was too good for this world.

You patted his forehead with a damp cloth. “Don’t be sorry, Max. I love you.” Was all you said, holding back tears.

You knew when he passed that your mother wouldn’t be able to do it. So, when Max took his final breath, you kissed his temple before you drove your knife through it with silent tears streaming down your face.

Your mother was quiet after Max died, but she never let you out of her sight. One day, she was so intent on making sure that you were okay that she didn’t notice what was approaching before it was too late. You screamed as the Infected bit into her neck from behind. You ran and bashed it’s head in with Max’s baseball bat and turned back to see your mother on her knees.

You half carried and half dragged her into a building and laid her on the floor. “No, Mom!” You sobbed.

“I’m so sorry, my Clara.” She rasped softly, eyes fluttering.

You pulled her onto your lap, cradling her as you tried to push back the tears. Her blood was warm and soaked into your clothes. There was so much of it. She touched your dark hair, the dark hair you'd gotten from her.

“My strong girl, I’m sorry to leave you alone in this world. But you’re going to be okay. I love you.” She said weakly. She passed out before you could say anything to her.

Your mom died from blood loss before the fever could take her. “I love you.” You whispered, before you pushed your blade into her skull.

That was two days ago. But it felt like you had been on your own forever. 

You’d moved on. From everything. You couldn’t bury your mother, but you left Max’s bat with her. As if that would make anything better.

Now you were sitting in an abandoned building. Well, a _building_ , since everything had been abandoned once the world had gone to shit. You and your mother had been out searching for food before she died, and you had run out of what you had left yesterday. You only had half a bottle of water left. 

You knew you needed to keep moving, find some more food and water, and better shelter. The building you were currently in had no doors. It was an empty auto shop with garage doors, but you couldn’t bring them shut without any power. It was stupid of you to stay here, but you had no urge to find something more secure.

You were alone and afraid, and you were tired. You were just so tired. 

You heard the groans of the dead entering the building, but you didn’t stand up. You felt weak from lack of food and you hadn’t slept since your mom died. Only when you realized that there were many of them did you grab your knife and get to your feet.

You shook your shoulders out and readied yourself. You stepped forward, plunging your knife into the temple of the first one, pulling it out just as quickly. As you continued dropping bodies, you noticed that they kept coming in. You were starting to worry; there were a lot of them. Where had they even come from?

You became overwhelmed by the dead, your back against the wall as you fended them off. You yelled in frustration as one pressed against you. You had your hand against the throat of one beside you, and your other hand was occupied by the one in front of you. You were unable to use your knife, and you heard more of the dead coming through the door. You felt hot anger through your veins when you realized this was how you died.

But then, you heard the sound of a blade and bodies dropping to the floor. You couldn’t see what was happening, had to focus on keeping the gnashing teeth away from your face. Suddenly, the body beside you fell, and you saw a blade appear through the forehead of the one in front of you. You shoved the thing away from you when the blade was pulled out.

Your breath caught when you saw your saviour. You wondered if maybe you’d actually died and you were gazing at an angel. He was tall, had curly light brown hair cut short, and he was wearing what looked like a military uniform. But that wasn’t all. He had the most beautiful blue eyes you had ever seen. He was absolutely gorgeous, even in spite of the blood splattered across his chiseled face. The only imperfection you could see was his misshapen left ear lobe.

He bent down and wiped the blade of his machete on the shirt of the Infected he had just killed. You unconsciously smoothed your hair behind your ear. He looked to be around your age, and for some reason he made your heart beat fast in your chest.

“Are you okay?” He asked when he straightened up, his eyes darting over your face.

Even his voice was sexy. You tried to fight the flush you felt creeping up your chest.

“Yes.” You managed to breath out.

He reached out, slowly, and brushed away a drop of blood from your cheek. You almost gasped at the physical contact, like an electric shock through your skin. Suddenly you threw your arms around him, pressing your cheek into his chest, feeling his solid muscles against your body.

The man seemed stunned, but his arms encircled you after a moment. He smelled clean, you realized. And you felt _good_ in his arms. You squeezed him tighter, and he let out a soft laugh. 

“Hey, relax.” He said. “You’re okay.”

You let him go quickly, blushing. “I-I’m sorry.” You stammered, looking up at him meekly.

“No need to apologize.” He said.

“Thank you. You saved my life.” You said seriously.

“You’re welcome…” You realized he was waiting for your name.

“Clara.” You said.

“That's a pretty name. You’re very welcome, Clara.” He said in a sultry voice. _Was he flirting with you_?

“So, what should I call you? Because I’m calling you my saviour in my head, and that’s a little embarrassing.” You flirted back.

“Troy.” He smiled. “Troy Otto.”

Oh, his smile. Your knees felt weak, and it wasn’t from lack of food or exhaustion.

“Are you all alone out here?” Troy asked you.

You thought of your dead family and didn’t trust yourself to speak. You nodded.

“If you want, you can come back with us.” Upon seeing the look on your face, Troy explained. “Me and my guys are out on a run. We live on my ranch. It’s just a few miles from here. We’ve got the perimeter fenced, running water, plenty of food. We’ve got a little settlement of people there. I’d love for you to come back with me. If you want to, that is.” He ended softly.

You pretended to think about it, but you wanted to go with him. You didn’t have any food. And there was something about Troy, you didn’t want him to leave. Maybe it was cliché but you didn’t want your knight in shining armor to go.

“You’d really take me in?” You asked.

“Absolutely.” He said immediately.

“Then, yes.” You said, before adding, “Please.”

You met Troy’s militia, and they greeted you warily. You noticed that they seemed to seek Troy’s approval before they spoke to you. It was obvious that Troy was in charge, but you wondered if some if there it was actually fear disguised as respect in his men's eyes.

You rode in the back of a truck, and Troy sat beside you. He produced an apple from a bag and handed it to you. Your fingers brushed his as you took it, and you blushed a little. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. How long’s it been since you’ve eaten?”

“I finished the last of my food yesterday. It hasn’t been that long.”

“You won’t have to worry about any of that now.” Troy said. You noticed that he had a small notebook in his hand and was scribbling things down in it.

You smiled at him gratefully before you took a bite of the apple. Some juice dripped down your chin and you wiped it away quickly. You felt Troy’s eyes on you and turned to watch the landscape pass by with a blush.

It was a little darker when you reached the ranch, but you could see all the tents and campers parked on the green grass. You could see gardens and a field of cattle. You hadn’t seen anything like it.

“Welcome to Broke Jaw Ranch.” Troy said.

“It’s beautiful.” You said in wonder. 

Troy smiled at you. “Come on.”

He’d ordered his men to put everything in something he called the pantry, and he said he wanted to introduce you to his brother.

“Jake!” Troy called.

A man a few years older than Troy, with dark hair and the same pretty blue eyes came over to you.

“Troy,” Jake greeted. “Who’s this?” 

“I’m Clara.” You said, stepping forward to shake his hand.

“Hello, I’m Jake.” He said with a warm smile that made you feel at ease.

“I found Clara in a building. She was alone, and I thought we could help her out.” Troy said.

“Troy saved my life.” You said.

Jake looked at Troy, and you didn’t understand when you saw confusion flicker in his eyes. “Of course, we can help her out. We’ll have to let Dad know that we have a new guest.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Troy said. “Come on, Clara. Let’s set you up with a tent.”

“Okay.” You said.

You followed Troy to the cluster of tents and campers. You twisted the end of a lock of hair in your fingers. “So, your dad's the man in charge?”

“Ah, yes.” Troy said distractedly.

“What about your mom?”

Troy was silent for a moment. “She’s dead.” He finally said.

“Before or after?” you asked, referring to the apocalypse. 

“Before.” Troy said.

“I'm sorry.” You replied softly.

“What about your family?” He asked, and his tone sounded a little harsh, as if what you had asked had annoyed him.

“My dad died. My brother was bitten. And then recently, so was my mom.” You said quietly.

Your eyes were starting to fill with tears, and you didn’t realize that Troy had stopped walking. You bumped into him, and your hands grabbed at his sides reflexively to keep you from falling.

You let him go quickly, embarrassed, and took a couple steps back. He turned around before you were finished wiping your tears.

“I'm sorry.” You whispered, fresh tears spilling forth.

Troy looked at you with a puzzled expression. “You apologize so much.”

Your voice stuck in your throat before you could say another sorry. You wiped at your eyes again.

“Clara, you don’t have to apologize. Crying is a natural human response.” His voice was so scientific. “I’m sorry that you lost your family. But you don’t have to be alone anymore.”

You still couldn’t trust your voice, so you nodded.

“This can be your tent, if you want.” Troy said.

It was small, blue and grey in colour, and had a cot inside with some neatly folded blankets. It was perfect.

“Are you sure?”

Troy smiled at you in disbelief. “Yes.”

“Okay. Thank you.” You debated internally for a moment before you stepped closer to Troy. You placed your hand on his shoulder and stood on your toes to plant a soft kiss on his cheek.

When you pulled back, you noticed the flush on his cheeks. 

“I really mean it. Thank you, Troy. You saved my life.”

Troy scratched the back of his neck. “I’m not a bad person. I couldn’t very well leave you there.”

You shrugged. “You could have.”

Troy eyes burned through yours. He shook his head absently. “Nah, I don’t think I could.”

Now your cheeks were flushed. 

He checked a watch he wore on his right wrist. “It's time for dinner, if you're hungry.”

You nodded eagerly and dropped your bag in the tent before you followed him over to an area with several picnic tables. Under a large tent were tables with food and dishes, with people serving and being served.

There was so much. You wondered how any of it was real.

Troy explained how meals worked, introducing you to people, but you felt extremely shy. When you had your tray full, Troy led you over to a table. He nodded his head over at his buddies, a few tables away.

“Are you all set then?” he asked, looking back to you.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” He turned to join his friends.

“Troy, wait!” You said nervously.

He turned back around. “Yeah?”

“Can you stay with me?” You asked sheepishly. “Please?”

When Troy looked at you, it reminded you of the way someone looked at an injured deer. “Okay.” He said.

He sat down across from you and got to work on his dinner.

You hesitated a little before you picked up your fork.

No one joined you, and you could tell Troy had something to do with that because you could see him making shooing motions with his fingers every now and then. You were grateful for that.

The food was good, and your stomach appreciated being filled properly. When you were done, you felt kind of tired. 

Troy showed you where to leave your tray, and then he looked at you carefully. “How are you doing?”

You tried not to flinch; it must have been really obvious. “I don’t know. I haven’t been around this many people for a long time. It was just me and my family for the most part, and that got smaller until it disappeared entirely. It's a little overwhelming.”

“Listen, this is a safe place.” Troy said seriously. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Okay?”

You nodded.

“Normally after dinner some of us just sit by a fire and talk. You can join if you'd like.”

You rolled your lips together. You still didn’t want Troy to leave you. “Sure.”

Troy smiled. “Yeah?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

You found yourself becoming more relaxed as the night drew on. You sat between Troy and Jake, and a few other guys from the militia sat around the fire as well.

You were actually finding yourself able to laugh every now and then. You hadn’t laughed for a long time. The Otto brothers were funny, and you liked them. 

When their father came down, you weren’t so sure if you liked him.

“Are you out of your damn _mind_?” The man yelled at Troy.

Troy sighed tiredly. “What did I do this time?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, boy. And who's this? You can’t just be bringing people here whenever you feel like.” 

All the calm you had been feeling before vanished instantly.

“This is Clara, and she’s my guest.” Troy said evenly. “Clara, this is my father Jeremiah.”

“What the hell's wrong with you?” Jeremiah said, completely ignoring you.

“Dad, you better just tell me what you mean because I’m not going to try to figure it out.”

“You are not supposed to play scientist when you're out searching. That’s not how we do things, Troy. You're not a child, and the dead are not for you to play with.” Jeremiah spat.

Your blood turned cold. You looked at Troy in alarm and he sucked his teeth, averting your eyes.

“Don't think I’ve forgotten what you did last time I left you in charge.” Jeremiah said. “If you're not careful, I’ll take that position away from you. You've been nothing but a pathetic excuse for a leader.”

Troy got up suddenly, and you flinched. He walked past his father. “I don’t need this bullshit.” He muttered.

Jeremiah eyed you once more before he left as well.

You looked at Jake with wide eyes. 

“Alright everybody, I think we better call it a night.” Jake said. The others left, but you remained.

“Can you please tell me what just happened?”

Jake sighed. And then he told you about his family. You learned that he and Jake were actually half-brothers with different mothers, both of whom were dead. They were survivalists, preparing for the fall of society, but they weren’t expecting the rise of the dead.

More quietly, Jake told you that Troy suffered from a mental illness since he was a child. Now, he had become fascinated by the dead. 

“What happened ‘last time’? What was your father talking about it?" You asked with a racing heart.

“Are you sure you want to know?” Jake asked. “Troy seems fond of you, which isn’t something I normally see. If you want to know, I'll tell you. So he doesn’t have to, or you don't hear it from anyone else.”

“I’m sure. Please tell me.”

“Troy may have been… experimenting with the process of how people turn.”

Your heart dropped. “You mean he killed people?”

Jake sighed. “Yes and no. Some people were already bitten.”

You weren’t sure if that made anything better. You couldn’t save your dad, but you had found a little peace when you were able to prevent your brother and mom from turning. Denying people that seemed wrong to you.

“Listen, it's not his fault." Jake said. "He doesn’t understand things the way everyone else does.”

“You mean, he’s a _sociopath_?”

Jake flinched at the word. “I don’t think the way our father raised him made it any better. He’s bigoted and he used tough love and he’s a violent drunk.” Jake cleared his throat. “Troy still seeks his approval even if our father treats him like shit.”

You frowned. That might have been the saddest thing you'd ever heard.

“It's not Troy's fault, okay. He's… sick.” Jake frowned at his own words. “Troy’s heart is in the right place. He wants to protect what's his and he does whatever he can to do so.”

You didn’t say anything. 

“Listen, I’m sure you’re tired. You should get some sleep. You’re still welcome to stay on the ranch for as long as you like.”

“Okay. Thanks.” You said. You stood up and walked back to your tent.

Of course, your handsome hero turned out to be a killer. That was just what you needed after losing your entire family.

You unzipped your tent and were about to go inside when you heard your name behind you. You turned and saw Troy. 

“What do you want?” You asked, trying to keep your voice neutral.

His shoulders fell. “I’m not a bad person.” He said insistently.

“I heard you the first time.” You said.

Troy's eyes roved over your face. “Jake told you everything, I guess.” He said in dismay. “That’s why you’re looking at me like that.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. If what your brother says is true, then you are a bad person. You can’t kill people in this world. We're all that’s left.”

“It's not like that.” Troy said.

You didn’t listen. “I guess you’re the reason the building I was in got overrun. Did you ever think about that? That there might have been people in there? I could have died because of you. But then I'd just be another subject for you, huh?”

“No, it wasn't like that.” Troy said adamantly. “And I saved you.”

“Why? What's different about me? Why save me?” you asked in exasperation.

“I don't know, okay!” Troy yelled, and then his voice softened. “I don’t know. There's just something about you.”

You didn’t know what to say. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, you sighed heavily. “Um, I’m tired.” You said awkwardly.

“Okay. Sorry. I’ll leave you alone.” Troy said dejectedly before he turned and left.

His body language indicated shame, and it confused you even more. You weren’t quite sure why this stranger and his feelings weighed so heavily on your mind. You didn't know what to think of him. 

Troy was a mystery. You remembered the way it felt when he touched you, how good you felt in his arms. And now you knew that there was something very wrong with him. But for some reason, you wanted to know more about him. You wanted to know everything about him. He was a mystery that you desired to solve.


	2. Something About You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Here's chapter 2!  
> Shit's still crazy with me but I've got some chapters prepared in advance (wow, like i always should?) so I'll be posting new chapters weekly.  
> Tell me what you think! I love hearing from you guys. I don't think you understand.  
> Enjoy!!  
> xo

Despite the nice tent and blankets, even despite the pillow, you had a terrible sleep. Not only were you still thinking about Troy, but every time you managed to fall asleep, you relived the death of one of your family members in a nightmare. It was terrible and exhausting. 

When the sun finally rose, you were relieved. Jake mentioned breakfast was at 7:30, but you didn’t really know what time it was. You looked through your bag for the spare jeans you had and grabbed a clean shirt. You changed and left your tent. 

You jumped a little when you saw a teenaged girl hanging around your tent. 

“Hi!” She said. She might have been around Max’s age. She had dirty blonde hair pulled back into a low pony tail. 

“Hi.” You said. 

“I’m Gretchen.” She smiled. 

“Clara.” You said, trying not to show how uneasy you were. It still felt weird to be around people, and this girl seemed very energetic. You didn’t get enough sleep to be able to match her excitement. 

“I heard Troy and Mike brought you back yesterday.” 

You nodded your head. 

“Mike is my brother.” Gretchen explained. 

“I see.” You said with another nod. 

“I’m sorry to bombard you.” She said sheepishly. “There aren’t a lot of girls my age here. Mike hangs out with Troy and the militia more than he does with me.” The girl sounded sad, and you knew she didn’t mean any harm. 

You smiled softly. “It’s fine.” 

“Would you like to have breakfast together?” Gretchen asked. 

Your smile faltered a little, but you knew you’d need to meet people eventually. You couldn’t be a stranger forever. 

You plastered your smile back on. “Sure.” 

The smell of coffee stunned you. It was like heaven. Breakfast consisted of eggs and pancakes. You’d never enjoyed breakfast so much in your entire life, even with Gretchen rambling on about this and that. 

You were drinking the last of your coffee when you spotted Troy, and you choked on the warm liquid a little when you saw that he had a black eye. You sputtered and coughed, and Troy looked over at you. You stopped coughing when he made eye contact, his eyes narrowing slightly. 

He looked away quickly, and your heart sunk. You guessed his father had something to do with that after what happened last night. Troy disappeared, and you searched the crowd with your eyes. 

“Are you okay?” Gretchen asked, snapping you back to reality. 

You cleared your throat. “I’m fine.” 

“My parents won’t let me drink coffee.” Gretchen said, oblivious to your distress. 

“I wonder why.” You said absently, continuing to look for Troy. You drained the last of the coffee in one swallow and muttered a “See you around” to Gretchen before you left to put away your tray. 

You couldn’t see Troy’s head of curls anywhere. You were stopped in your tracks by Jeremiah before you could finish your search. You stood silently, arms crossed over your chest as he looked you over. 

“You’re the one Troy brought back with him. Claire, is it?” 

You gave him the same once-over. “It’s _Clara_. And your son saved my life. You must be very proud.” 

Jeremiah grunted at that. “Well, you need to know that if you are going to live on my land that you need to contribute.” 

You were still keen on learning everything about Troy, so you knew you needed to cooperate with Jeremiah in order to stay on the ranch. “I understand. I saw that you had gardens. I have a bit of a green thumb, so I can help there if you'd like.” 

“Alright. If you head over there now, one of the women there can show you what to do.” 

“Okay.” Then you added, “Thank you, sir.” 

Jeremiah nodded, and he seemed pleased. You were glad you remembered that your father appreciated being called ‘sir’. He had said that it showed respect, and Jeremiah clearly thought the same. 

You headed over to the gardens to get to work. The women there were nice and didn’t ask you too much about yourself. You were grateful for that. 

As you tended to some carrots, you decided to do some sleuthing. 

“Hey, Mary…” The older woman who had explained everything to you looked at you. “How long have you been here?” 

“Oh, I’ve known the Otto’s for a long time. Much before the dead started to walk around.” 

“Troy found me, you know. He saved me from them.” You said. You tried to keep your tone light. “He’s very handsome.” 

Mary didn’t seem thrown off at all. She smiled. “Troy is a good boy. Always helping out.” Her smile faltered. “If only Jeremiah treated his boys a little kinder.” 

You frowned, thinking of Troy’s black eye. “Was he always abusive?” 

Mary flinched at the word. “Well, I don't know what goes on inside the Otto household. But he’s always been a man with tough love.” 

“Okay.” You let up, even though Mary might have known more than she was saying. You were a stranger, after all. You knew Jeremiah probably had a heavy hand for Troy's entire life. You switched the topic. “So, does Troy have a girlfriend?” 

Mary gave you a knowing smile. “Falling for your knight in shining armor?” 

_Were you_? Surely not. You had just met him yesterday. You just wanted to know more about him and didn’t want anyone to know why you were asking about Troy’s past. You said nothing. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Troy with a girlfriend.” Mary said. 

You nodded and got back to work, trying to keep the smile off your lips. 

You didn’t see Troy all day, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to anyway, after what you had heard yesterday. You still didn’t know what to think of him. You weren’t sure if it was better to be afraid of him or to admit that you might have felt something for him. 

You finally saw him after dinner. He was heading up to what you learned was the pantry. You caught up to him as he opened the doors. 

“Troy,” you called. 

He froze at the sound of your voice. He looked over his shoulder. “Um, you’re not really allowed to be here.” 

“Too bad.” You said stubbornly. “I want to talk to you.” 

“Can it wait?” There was a sharp edge to his voice. 

“Will you stop avoiding me if I wait?” You said boldly. 

Troy sighed. “I figured you didn’t want to talk to me. Not after what my brother told you.” 

You shrugged. “There’s just something about you.” You repeated his words from last night. 

You saw a sparkle in his blue eyes. He looked around and then gestured for you to follow him. 

You walked down the stairs into the cool room. It was long and concrete, built into the hill. There were isles of shelves stacked with boxes, and you noticed an armory stocked with guns as well. Jake wasn’t kidding when he said they were prepping for the end of the world. 

“Just wait here and give me a second, okay?” Troy asked. 

You nodded and sat down on the stairs. You waited for Troy to come back and he leaned against the wall where the stairs ended. 

He crossed his arms over his chest. “So, what did you want to talk about?” 

Your eyes roamed his face, and he looked away when you looked at his black eye again. “You.” 

“What about me?” Troy asked with guarded eyes. 

“You told me you’re not a bad person, so I want to know why you think that.” 

Troy sighed, avoiding your eyes again. “You’ll just think I’m crazy. You’ll think that there’s something wrong with me.” 

“You don’t know what I’ll think.” You said evenly. 

Troy's eyes flicked back to yours, reading them. “Fine.” He finally said. 

You leaned back on your elbows and waited for him to continue. 

“Life has always… fascinated me. I’ve always wanted to understand it. Then, to my awe, life changed. The dead rose, and they seemed to have only one goal. To turn all life… dark.” He paused, eyes searching your face. When you said nothing, he continued. 

“The world was overpopulated, you know. Humans are responsible for climate change, draining the earth of its resources… I think that the rise of the dead is an evolutionary, corrective action.” 

You furrowed your brow, but you were intrigued by his interpretation of the apocalypse. “You think this is natural?” 

Troy shrugged. “I think that nature changed life's course to preserve itself.” 

You found a strange beauty in what he was saying, in the way he spoke about nature. Humans _were_ destroying the environment. The living dead easily reduced carbon emissions and water pollution... You wondered if you could think the same way as Troy after all of the horrible, terrible things you had seen. 

“I know my brother probably told you that I was _sick_. I’ve heard him telling our father that I’m mentally ill,” he spat, eyes flashing angrily. “But I don’t care what anyone says. I wish to understand the inner workings of life, and now that it’s changed, I want to understand it even more.” 

You understood that, but there was still something bothering you. You hesitated before your spoke. “I don’t think that killing people is the right way to do that.” 

“I’ve never found a way that’s better. I understand the transfer through a bite. It’s like rabies. But what I don’t understand is how a person turns if they die in their sleep or bleed out from a gunshot wound.” 

Your veins felt like ice. “How many people have you _shot_?” 

Troy shrugged. “A dozen, or so.” 

A shudder ran down your spine. “That isn’t _right_ , Troy!” 

Troy sighed. “Then I’m wrong. Maybe I am a bad person.” 

You saw a broken look in his eyes. It made the fear you were feeling dissipate a little. If Troy really did have a mental illness, then it wasn't his fault. 

You stood up and turned your body to face his. “Am I the only person you've told all this to?” 

Troy nodded warily. 

You stepped up to him and raised your hand to his face. You touched his temple, avoiding his bruise. 

“Has your father always hit you?” 

Troy's hand shot up and grabbed your wrist, making you gasp. His fingers were tight around it, keeping your arm in the air beside his head. 

“I don’t think that’s any of your fucking business.” He practically growled. 

You tried to stay calm. You didn’t think Troy had it in him to really hurt you. “You can trust me, Troy.” You murmured. 

His grip didn’t loosen. “Can I? I don’t even know you.” He said angrily. 

“But you brought me here. You _wanted_ me here.” You said, and you saw him breaking down. His grip loosened on your wrist, but you didn’t pull your arm away. You were both silent, eyes holding the other’s. 

Troy let go of you suddenly and you brought your hand back down. You rubbed your wrist, exhaling at the tenderness, seeing the imprints of his fingers in your skin. Bewildered, you stared at the angry mark. 

“Fuck.” Troy muttered. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You know what, there _is_ something wrong with me.” 

You looked back up at him, and he shook his head. 

“It's time to go.” You didn’t move, so Troy gestured to the door. “Go, Clara.” He said firmly. 

You begrudgingly did as he said, walking back into the night air. He shut the pantry doors behind you loudly and locked them. 

“You should stay away from me.” He warned, turning back to you. 

“You shouldn’t tell me what to do.” You countered. 

Troy looked at you in disbelief. “Are you fucking serious? I know I scared you in there, and it could have been a lot worse. Do you understand that?” 

You scoffed. “Are you saying that you would have killed me?” 

“It's not like I haven’t done it before. I could have crushed your throat and timed how long it took you to turn.” 

You felt a chill run up your spine. “Is that what you do? Is that what you write down in that little notebook of yours?” 

Troy glared at you silently. 

After a second, you spoke softly. “Don’t push me away, Troy. You can talk to me. Let me… be your friend.” 

“I don’t want that.” He spat. “Okay? I _don’t_ need you. If you’re not going to listen to my advice, then listen to this: I don’t need you playing shrink with me. I don’t need you thinking I’m crazy, and I sure as hell don’t need you feeling sorry for me.” 

You felt like you'd been slapped in the face. 

“So, stay away from me.” Despite all the ferocity in his voice before, Troy ended quietly. 

You blinked at him. His eyes seemed to beg the opposite of what he said, but now you were angry. You didn’t even want to talk to him, but you wanted to hurt him just the same as he hurt you. 

“You’re right." You said evenly. "There is something really wrong with you. And I don’t feel sorry for you Troy, because it seems like you deserve it.” 

And with that, you turned and left. You avoided the urge to run back to your tent. You pulled at your hair in frustration when you were back inside your tent. 

You'd almost immediately regretted what you'd said. No one deserved to be abused. Especially not a child, and not for their whole life. You sat down on your cot and buried your face in your hands. 

You weren’t sure how a stranger could make you feel this way. You didn’t know why you cared so much. 

You suddenly became very homesick. You wished you had the comfort of your mom's arms around you. You longed for your dad to bring you some hot chocolate. You missed Max quietly coming into your room and sitting on the floor beside your bed whenever he knew you felt down. 

You really thought you were going to cry, so you turned off the lantern and took off your jeans. You settled yourself under the blankets and pressed your face into the pillow. You sobbed quietly until you fell asleep. 

* 

At breakfast the next day, you'd learned that Troy and the militia had gone out again. 

"They'll probably be gone for a few days." Jake said. 

"Oh." You said. You'd wanted to tell Troy that you were sorry for what you said. You still wanted to know more about him and telling him he deserved his father's abuse wasn’t going to help. It was probably the meanest thing you had ever said. 

Jake eyed you warily. "Did something happen last night?" 

"Why do you ask?" You asked nonchalantly, but your heart started beating faster. 

"Because I told Troy that he should let you talk to him about what happened the other day. He never told me how it went." 

You chewed on your lip. "I talked to him. I guess I pried too much and he got angry." You looked down at the bruises on your wrist, and Jake’s eyes followed. 

"God damn it, did he _do_ that to you?" Jake asked. You brought your hand down to your lap, obscuring it from view. “I’m so sorry, Clara.” 

You shrugged half heartedly. "He apologized and I could tell that he was upset that he did it." 

"That doesn't make it okay." 

"I know it doesn't." You said firmly. "Troy told me to stay away from him but I was being stubborn and we both said things that... weren't very nice." You looked at Jake quizzically. "Why are you asking?" 

"I could tell that he wasn't in a good headspace when he left." 

_Shit_. You hoped you didn't send him out on a rage. 

"Listen, Clara. I already told you that Troy seems fond of you. That's not something that happens often. I think you've got something he needs." 

You furrowed your brow. "What the hell does that mean?" 

"I just mean that I think your friendship would be good for him." 

You looked down at your plate. "Well, I don't think he wants to be friends after last night." 

"Just give him some time." Jake said softly. 

You flicked your eyes back up to his. “I don’t think _I_ want to be friends after last night.” 

Jake’s eyes searched yours. “Okay. I understand.” His tone was sad. 

You couldn't take his puppy dog eyes anymore, so you left. But he got you wondering if you actually could help Troy… 

* 

You didn’t see Troy for two days. It allowed your anger to cool, but it also allowed your anxiety to grow. You thought about what Jake had said, and if you could help Troy to stop killing people, then you wanted to do whatever you could. But you weren’t sure if Troy would ever want your help after everything that happened a few days before. 

When you finally saw him, your palms began to sweat. His bruise was fading, as were yours, but was still visible. You knew you needed to approach him first, but you decided to let it wait until after dinner. Let him settle back in before you inevitably made him uncomfortable again. 

You felt like your heart rate was a little faster for the rest of the day. Gretchen was happy to have her brother back and that made her chattier than ever. She had grown on you, and she didn't mind that she did most of the talking. 

You were distracted at dinner, trying to keep your eyes off Troy. You noticed him smiling, and that put you a little at ease. You were eating alone because Gretchen was sitting with her parents and her brother. You didn't really mind, though, because you were a nervous wreck. 

You sat with Jake when the fire was lit and were fairly quiet. At last, you met Troy's eyes across the fire. He closed his lips over his teeth, pursing them, but didn't look away. You found yourself unable to smile and bit your lip nervously. After what seemed like ages, Troy finally broke his gaze away and got up and left. 

You got up, too, and went after him. He was walking up to his house, which stood high on the hill, overlooking the ranch. He was already pretty far ahead of you, thanks to his long legs. You finally caught up to him when he reached the steps. 

"Troy," you said a little breathlessly. You watched his shoulders stiffen a little in the porch light. "I think we should talk." 

He walked up the stairs, and you thought he was ignoring you but were relieved when he sat down on the porch, legs dangling off the edge. You joined him cautiously, leaving a good two feet between your body and his. 

You hesitated a second before you spoke, gathering your courage. "I'm really sorry." You started softly. "You were right. I was prying in something that I had no right to. You don't know me, I don't know you. But I know that you've never done anything to deserve the pain that you've received. It was shitty of me to say that you did." 

Troy frowned a little. 

"Before you say anything, I’m going to ask you something and I'm only going to ask you this once." You said, and Troy looked at you expectantly. "Do you enjoy the killing?" 

Troy pondered this for a moment. “Not really.” He finally said. 

“Then why do it?” You tried not to sound too exasperated. 

“I need to understand. It's a means to obtain knowledge.” Troy said simply. 

"And once you got your answers, would you stop?" 

"I suppose so." Troy said. 

You ventured a look at his face, and it was hard to read. "Okay. Again, I’m sorry. Thank you for listening to me. If you don't want to talk to me ever again, then that's okay. It would suck, but I'd understand." 

"Why?" Troy asked. 

"Because I was out of line the other night, and who am I to ask you-" 

Troy shook his head and his eyes pierced yours. "Why would it suck?" 

You blinked. _Why would it suck_? 

"Tell me." He said gently, but his tone was demanding. 

“I find you interesting.” You finally said. “And I don’t know why, but I care about you. Maybe it’s because you saved my life. But it doesn’t matter why. I don't know what it is about you. I just care about you and I need you to know that.” 

"Why would you care about me?" He asked in disbelief. 

"You saved me." You said automatically. 

Troy made a face, as if that didn't convince him. 

"There's just something about you." You said softly. "I saw something great in you when I met you, Troy. Let me help you find it." 

"You think that? You think I can be good?" He asked, and you couldn't help but think he sounded like a little kid. 

You nodded and moved a little closer to him. "I do." 

Troy didn't say anything for a while. Finally, you felt his fingers skim your wrist, and you flinched. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. You watched him trace the bruises with his fingertips. "I don't ever want to hurt you." 

"I'm fine." You said quietly. Why did his skin feel so good on yours? 

Troy shook his head and pulled his hand away. You frowned at the loss of his gentle touch. "No one should ever touch you like that." 

You didn't know what to say. You fell into a long silence. 

After a while, Troy spoke up. "You really want be my friend?" He asked hesitantly. 

"I do." You confirmed tenderly. 

Troy exhaled slowly. "Okay." You watched a smile grow on his lips. "I'd like that, too.”


	3. Next To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured I'd give an early update, because why not?  
> I'm sorry if it feels like I'm jumping way ahead or past certain things (you might feel this more in future chapters, maybe?). The main explanation for that is that I write about what interests me. If it doesn't interest me, then it takes me forever to write and I hate that. So, I just don't.  
> Anyway, hey :) Here's chapter 3.  
> Leave a comment ;)  
> Enjoy!  
> xo

As the days passed by, you and Troy grew closer. You told him that you were there if he ever wanted to talk and he became more and more open with you. You were the only person that he had ever confided in, and you could tell that it was good for him to talk about himself. 

It was timid at first, only gentle hellos and smiles. Then it was a meal together every now and then, before it was every meal if you could. Then it was conversations by the fire. Before long, you were practically inseparable. 

You spent every minute of your free time together. When you weren’t helping with the gardens and Troy wasn’t on shift, you were together. Besides meals and the fire, you'd also taken to sitting on his porch and sitting on the top of the cliff above the lake. You still hadn’t convinced him to jump in the water with you, but you were hopeful that one day he would. 

You’d talk about your lives before the apocalypse. You told Troy about university, which he was intrigued by since he was home schooled for the most part and then worked on the ranch after he finished his high school curriculum. You told him about your hometown and what it was like to live in the city. He told you all about the ranch. He enjoyed talking about nature as well, his eyes taking on a curious gleam whenever he did. 

Your families were both touchy subjects. You hated talking about your family because it only reminded you that they were dead. Troy never spoke about his mother, either. 

Sometimes you didn’t even talk, but you needed the quiet too. You’d simply sit side by side and silently enjoy each other’s company. 

You never admitted to Troy, or yourself, that you had developed feelings for him. But you could tell that he may felt the same, with the lingering looks he gave you. Despite this, you hadn’t tried to step things up in your relationship. For now, being friends was good enough for you. 

The only downfall to being close with Troy was that he became very protective of you. People could volunteer to go out on runs, or to take shifts on patrol when the militia was away, but Troy basically forbid you from doing so. You had been denied volunteering on three separate occasions. 

The guys were going out for another run, and you knew they needed volunteers. Troy, however, didn't think you should help. 

“I think I can decide for myself whether or not I can help out.” You said, arms crossed over your chest. 

“Maybe,” Troy said as he tossed a bag into his truck, “but I’d prefer you stay on the ranch. I know you’ll be safe here.” 

“But I’ll be bored without you.” You pouted. 

“I can live with that.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the truck. “Anyway, we won't be gone long and I’m sure Gretchen can keep you company.” 

“Gretchen is sweet, but I’d prefer going with you. Anyway, it’s not like you can keep telling me that I can’t come.” 

“Actually, I can. I’m in charge, I make the rules. I decide who gets to come, and that’s not you. I don’t want to be worrying about you while we’re out there.” His tone wasn’t mean, it actually seemed like he was making fun of you. 

“I’m not a helpless damsel-” 

“Not anymore.” Troy interrupted. 

Your cheeks heated. “That’s not fair.” 

Troy shrugged, giving you a sly grin. “That’s just the way it is.” 

You sighed in frustration, hands curling into fists. “Fine.” 

“Glad we have an understanding.” Troy said smugly. 

You didn’t argue any further and turned on your heel. 

As the militia finished loading up their gear, you thought about what Troy said. The damsel in distress dig was a low blow. And you wanted to prove him wrong. 

So, you went to your tent and grabbed your bag. You put a bottle of water in there, and you had some granola bars too. You grabbed your knife and put it through one of your belt loops. 

You snuck back over to the line of vehicles and opened the door to the trunk of one of the jeeps. You checked to make sure no one was watching. You hopped in and shut the door behind you. 

You waited quietly until the engines started to rumble. Your back kind of hurt from the way you were lying, but you were just happy to be getting off the ranch. 

After a while, the jeep stopped. You waited and peeked out the window to see what was going on. You were in a wooded area, and it appeared that you were at some sort of place that used to sell lumbar. Troy didn’t tell you what the run was for, and now you guessed that they probably wanted some lumbar to build up the fences. The Infected were drawn to the cattle on the ranch, and some fences had been damaged. 

You heard the groans of the Infected and decided to go help. You dropped your bag, readied your knife, and got out of the jeep. 

There were a lot, and you went forwards to help Mike. There were three approaching him. You dodged the first one and buried your knife in the temple of the second one. 

Mike took out the first one, but he seemed stunned to see you. Too stunned to move, so you had to deal with the other one. When you yanked your blade free, Mike snapped out of it. 

"Clara, what the hell are you doing here?" He asked exasperatedly. 

"Saving your ass, apparently." 

He ran a hand through his hair. "Troy's going to flip his shit." 

"I think that's the last of your worries right now." You said, nodding your head at more of the approaching dead. 

Mike shook his head but dropped the subject. His face was grim. 

You made your way through the dead and ended up next to Troy. When he saw you, his eyes flashed dangerously. He chopped the head off the Infected in front of him swiftly but didn't say anything to you. Troy had to kill a couple before they could get too close to you, but you held your own for the most part. You continued to purge the dead until they were gone. 

Then, it was quiet, save for the pants of exertion. You could feel everyone's eyes on you and Troy, waiting to see what he would do. They knew about Troy denying your company on runs, and they probably figured he'd freak out. 

Troy cleaned the blade of his machete then sheathed it. “Okay, boys. You know what we're here to do, so get to it.” He said evenly. 

The militia snapped out of it and headed off. You sheathed your knife as you waited for them to get to work. 

Troy turned to you and grabbed your hand. His grip was tight, but it wasn't painful, and your stomach fluttered to have your hand in his. You let him drag you into the office inside the sales center, then he dropped your hand. He shut the door behind you, and you could see how tense his shoulders were before he turned back around to face you. 

"Are you out of your _fucking_ mind?" He asked. He didn't sound as angry as you thought he would be, but it was intense. 

You were going to reply, but he wasn't done talking. You closed your mouth and waited for him to finish his lecture. 

"I told you to stay on the ranch. Why can't you listen to me? Why do you have to be so goddamn stubborn?" Now you realized that his tone was a mix of fear and anguish. "What if you got hurt? Why can't you just do what I ask?" 

You wanted to point out that he didn't really _ask_ you to stay on the ranch but decided against it. Your eyes widened when he gently took your face in his hands. His hands were splattered with blood, but his touch felt so good that you couldn't pull away. 

"Why do you do this to me?" He ended in despair. 

You were so stunned by this gentle, worried side of Troy. His eyes were so big and blue. "Troy..." You didn't know what to say. 

You placed your hand over one of his and pulled it away. By the look on his face, he must have thought you didn't want him to touch you, but you stepped up to him and wrapped your arms around him. You closed your eyes and pressed your cheek against his chest. 

Slowly, the hand that still held your face wove into your hair, and Troy placed his other hand on the small of your back, keeping you close to him. You didn't care that he was covered in blood, you even tightened your arms around him. It still felt so good to be in his arms. 

You got the feeling that he wouldn't let go first, so after a while you pulled back and looked up at him. "You don't need to worry about me so much." You said softly. 

Troy's hands fell away from you slowly. "I can't help it." 

"Maybe next time it won't be as hard since you'll _let_ me come along." You said lightly, stepping back and sitting on the edge of the desk. 

Troy looked at you wearily. "Don't push it. If you were anybody else, I'd-" 

"I know." You cut him off. "I'm sorry, Troy. But I can't just keep sitting on the ranch when I know I can help you out here. I worry about you too, you know.” 

He didn't say anything, but you saw a flush on his cheeks. He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a handkerchief. He handed it to you, and you took it, purposefully brushing his fingers with yours. 

"Thank you." You said, before you brought it up to wipe your cheeks. 

"Guess you wouldn’t let me tell you to stay in one of the cars?" Troy asked. 

You handed him back the cloth with a cheeky smile. "I’m so glad that you're learning!" 

“Shut up,” he said, snatching the handkerchief out of your hand, trying to stifle his grin. "Fine, then you're with me. I don't want you leaving my side." 

You shrugged lightly, then poked his side. "Who says I'd want to, anyway?" 

He shook his head with a grin. 

* 

After everything had been loaded up, Troy let you ride with him, Mike, and Coop in a truck. You were with Troy in the back of the cabin, Mike in the passenger seat and Coop was driving. 

"You know, one time I went against Troy's orders and he punched me in the face. Almost broke my nose." Coop said, his eyes on yours in the rear-view mirror. You watched Mike squirm in his seat. 

You glanced at Troy, biting your lip. He didn't meet your eyes. He usually closed himself off when negative things about him came to light. 

"Yeah, well, I can't let people think it's okay to go against what I say." Troy said distantly, eyes trained out the window. 

“I think we all know now!” Coop said, barking a laugh. 

It was quiet for the rest of the drive, and when you got to the ranch, Jeremiah was waiting at the gates. 

Troy got out and you followed, always anxious about Troy's interactions with his father. Troy spent much of his time with you now, so there were fewer opportunities for Jeremiah’s heavy hand. 

“Dad.” Troy greeted. 

"The list you gave me was wrong. Everyone who goes with you is supposed to be on that list." Jeremiah said. 

"And a name was missing?" Troy asked. 

You knew it was yours. You wrung your hands behind your back. "I'm sorry, Jeremiah. It was really last minute, but I begged Troy to let me come along." 

Jeremiah gave you a hard look. 

Jake stepped forward. "Troy let me know before he left, Dad. I didn't think you really needed to be bothered by it since you were making plans for the fence." 

You felt the tension leave your shoulders. Jake was always looking out for everyone, especially you and Troy. 

Jeremiah looked back and forth between his sons, then glared at you before he looked back at Troy. "Next time, let me know." 

"Yes, sir." Troy said quietly. 

Jeremiah left, and you went over to Jake. You squeezed his hand briefly. "Thank you." You whispered gratefully. 

Jake gave you a smile. "You're welcome. I hope it doesn't need to happen again." 

"You and me both." Troy said from behind you. 

You let go of Jake's hand to take Troy's. "I'm sorry, Troy." You looked at him sadly. 

"It's okay." 

"It's kind of not, but thanks." You said. He looked at your hand in his, and you let it go with a blush. “Um, did you want help with the lumbar?” 

“Nah, that’s okay. You’ve been enough trouble for me today.” His tone was teasing, and you blushed harder. 

“Okay. I guess I’ll go clean up, then.” 

Troy nodded, and you left to drop your bag off at your tent. You grabbed some clean clothes and headed over to the outdoor shower. It was fully enclosed, and it got hot water, so you didn’t mind too much that it was outside. 

When you were finished and dressed, you went over to the gardens to work, since Jeremiah would probably tell you that you had skipped out earlier to join Troy. 

You worked until it was time for dinner, and when you went over to eat you noticed how quiet the guys in the militia were. It was bizarre, and you noticed how they steered clear of you. 

You got your food and looked around for Troy, but you couldn’t find him. You sat down with Mike and Jake. 

Mike looked uncomfortable, and you knew something was up. 

“Why's everyone so quiet?” you asked. 

Jake looked like he wanted to know the answer as well. 

Mike took a sip of water and then looked around before he spoke. “Troy… he was mad that you managed to sneak along today. He asked how we were stupid enough to let it happen. He did some other stuff he does when he's mad.” 

Jake sighed. 

Your shoulders dropped. “What did he do?” 

“I thought he was going to punch me, because I told him I saw you first. But he snapped a few pieces of wood that were leaning against the fence.” Mike said, and you could tell there was something else. 

“Okay…” you waited. 

Mike squirmed uncomfortably. “He drove a nail into Coop’s shoulder.” 

You gasped, and your fork fell out of your hand. He must have not appreciated the comment Coop made in the truck. 

“Yeah he just kind of took it and shoved it in there when Coop told him to calm down.” Mike grimaced. 

Jake shook his head and left the table. 

God, this was all your fault. “I’m sorry Mike.” 

Mike merely shrugged. “I’m sure Coop will be okay. I brought him to the medical tent right away.” 

“Okay. Where's Troy now?” 

“Jeremiah punched him after it all and then Troy left. He's probably just at the house.” 

You frowned. “Okay. Thanks.” 

You poked through your dinner, eating even though you weren’t really feeling hungry anymore. You grabbed some food for Troy and headed up to the house on the hill. 

You knew Jeremiah wouldn’t be home, and that was always a good thing. Troy must have seen you coming, because he came out onto the porch when you were approaching the stairs. 

He sat down in one of the chairs and took the plate you handed him. “Thanks.” He muttered. 

You didn’t say anything, just sat in the chair beside him and pulled your knees up to your chest. You could see some swelling on his cheekbone from Jeremiah's fist. 

You waited for Troy to finish eating before you spoke. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” 

Troy sighed. “Not really.” 

You normally didn’t push him, but this time you did. “If you’re mad at me, you need to take it up with me. _Only_ me, Troy. Not Mike or Coop, or anyone else.” 

“I’m not mad at you.” 

“Your actions indicate otherwise.” You said harshly. 

Troy looked off into the distance. 

“Don’t do that. Don't shut yourself off from me.” You said. 

“I’m not.” He said stiffly. 

“Then tell me what's going on in your head.” 

Troy sucked his teeth in irritation. “I can’t believe you managed to sneak off the ranch and put yourself in danger. I’m mad that you did that. I’m mad at my guys for not noticing. But I’m mostly mad at myself.” 

You sighed. “I’m sorry, Troy. But I needed to show you that I’m useful. I can help, I want to be out there with you. And you never would have let me otherwise.” 

“I wouldn’t have.” Troy agreed. 

You didn’t say anything for a long while. “I guess I’ll go see how Coop is doing. Apologize since I’m the reason-” 

Troy stopped you. “No, you don’t have to apologize. I do.” 

You looked at him in surprise. “Really?” 

Troy nodded. “I never should have gotten so angry. I just can’t stop thinking that you could have gotten hurt today, and it's making me crazy.” 

You gently placed your hand over his. “Look at me, Troy.” He did. “I’m fine. Nothing happened to me out there, because we were working together.” 

He nodded. “Okay.” 

You smiled softly and pulled your hand back. 

“I guess I’ll go do that now.” Troy said. 

“I’m proud of you for doing this, Troy.” 

He tried to fight his smile but lost. “Thanks.” 

“Do you want me to go with you?” 

He shrugged, smile fading. 

“I can if you want, Troy. I don’t mind.” You said softly. 

He was quiet for a moment before he nodded hesitantly. 

You stuffed your hands in your pockets as you waited for him to stand up. 

You walked silently side by side to the medical tent. Troy went in first and you followed him. 

You had never been in the infirmary before. There were several cots and curtains for privacy. The only occupied cot was Coop's. He made the bed look small under his large frame. 

He was in a tank top and had a bandage wrapped around his left shoulder, and sling around it to keep it immobile. 

He looked surprised and wary to see Troy walking in, but the wariness faded a little when he saw that you had come with him. 

You offered him a tight lipped smile, and he gave you a slight nod. 

Troy crossed his arms over his chest as you reached Coop. You sat down on the cot next to Coop's. 

You waited a couple seconds before you nudged Troy's leg with your foot so he'd say something. 

He glanced over his shoulder at you before he spoke. “Coop. How's the shoulder?” 

Coop looked at him carefully. “It'll be fine.” 

Troy nodded. “Good.” He cleared his throat. “Uh, listen. I shouldn’t have done that. I was angry but I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I'm sorry.” 

Coop seemed a little stunned. “Apology accepted.” He said after a moment. “I just hope it doesn’t happen again.” 

“I’m going to try hard so that it doesn't.” Troy said. 

“Alright. Well, thanks, I guess.” Coop said. 

“Sure.” Troy said awkwardly. 

“I hope your shoulder heals soon.” You jumped in. 

“Thanks, me too. I’m sure it will.” Coop said. 

“Well, we'll let you get some rest. Goodnight, Coop.” You said, getting off the cot. 

You took Troy's elbow and pulled him with you. You walked out of the infirmary but didn’t let go of Troy yet. He seemed to be lost in thought, and was following you blindly. 

You didn’t say anything and just led him back up to his house. He snapped out of it when you were at the foot of the porch. You dropped his arm. 

“That went okay, right?” He asked, eyes searching yours. 

“Yeah, I think so.” You smiled encouragingly. 

“Okay.” Troy sighed. 

A moment of silence. 

“Well, I think I’m gonna head back to my tent for the night.” You said. 

“Okay. See you tomorrow.” Troy said. 

“See you.” 

You began to walk away, but Troy caught your hand. You looked over your shoulder at him, a flutter in your stomach. 

“Thanks, Clara.” He said softly. 

You squeezed his hand. “You’re welcome.” 

He let you go after a moment, and you turned back around before your blush could get too obvious. You walked back to your tent with a giddy feeling that only Troy gave you.


	4. Burning Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter, and don't think it's all too sudden? ;)  
> I loved writing this, please let me know what you think!!  
> xo

You’d been on the ranch for a while. You didn’t really count the days, and you were sure that Troy had kept track of how long you’d been there, but you didn’t bother asking. You felt at home there now, so it didn’t matter how long you’d been there. 

After going to the lumbar yard, Troy had let you come along on two other runs. He made sure that you were aware that he was still worried about you getting hurt, and you were never able to leave his side, but you were happy to be working with him. And honestly, you preferred being by his side. The two of you made one hell of a team. 

You were finding it harder to deny that you had romantic feelings for Troy. He had shown you such a different side to him, and you _liked_ that side. He was soft and caring and funny. 

Currently, you were sitting at the top of the cliff above the lake, staring down at the sparkling water. Troy wasn’t on shift today, and you had him all to yourself. 

“It’s so hot.” You said, feeling sweat drip down your back. 

“Great observation.” Troy said sarcastically. 

You nudged his shoulder with yours. “We should go for a swim.” 

“We just had lunch.” 

You rolled your eyes. “We ate a while ago. Anyway, that’s only an issue if you’re like, going to swim laps. And I’m not one for laps.” 

Troy shook his head with a grin. 

You put both your hands on his forearm and tugged a little. “Please Troy? You never want to, and I bet the water would feel really good.” You pouted. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” Troy said. 

You continued pouting. “Like what?” 

“Clara…” he warned. 

You let go of him. “What, are you scared?” You asked teasingly. 

“No,” he scoffed. “I just haven’t done it since I was a kid.” 

You didn’t push much when he talked about his past, because you knew his mother was a sensitive topic. You respected that, so you said nothing more. 

You felt more sweat dripping down your back, and you looked down at the water again wistfully. You began taking off your boots. 

Troy looked at you with a furrowed brow. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m gonna do it, even if you’re not. I've been wanting to for days.” You said, popping open the button of your jeans. 

“Stop!” Troy said. 

You laughed at the alarmed look on his face. “I’m not getting _naked_. Anyway, no one’s going to see me.” 

“I am!” Troy said, his eyes wide. 

You shrugged. “I don’t mind.” You laughed softly at the flush that appeared across his cheeks, but you stilled your hands. “Troy, if I’m making you uncomfortable, I’ll stop.” 

“You’re not making me uncomfortable.” You couldn’t quite read the expression on his face. Then he said, “Fuck it.” He first took off the watch he always wore on his right wrist, and then pulled his shirt over his head and let it drop beside him on the rock. 

You unconsciously licked your lips when you saw his toned chest and stomach. Luckily, he didn’t notice as he leaned forward to pull off his boots. You snapped out of it and unzipped your fly. You shimmied out of your jeans, tucked your socks in your boots, and stood up. Troy worked his pants off, and you pulled your shirt off as he stood up. 

You watched Troy's eyes flicker over your body. You tried to ignore the way he looked at you, but it caused a burn through your veins. You felt a little weird in front of him in just your black bra and panties… but you also felt free. You glanced down at the boxer briefs he wore. You felt a flush creep up your chest. 

“So, who’s going first?” You asked, turning your gaze down to the water. 

“It was your idea.” Troy pointed out. 

“Fine, then you better watch.” You stood at the edge of the rock and turned to face Troy. He seemed a little confused. “Tell me how good I look.” You winked at him before you pushed off the rock and did a back flip, landing feet first in the lake. 

The water felt so good against your skin. You stayed under the water until your lungs begged for air. You pushed your hair back when you surfaced. You looked up at Troy, wondering why you’d gotten so flirty. 

“Where the hell did you learn how to do that?” He called down. 

“It sounds like you're impressed.” You yelled back. You heard him let out a laugh of disbelief, and you found yourself grinning. “Get down here!” 

You watched him shake his head one more time before he stepped off the edge. You were too far away for his splash to reach you. You screamed when you felt something grab onto your leg. Troy surfaced after a second later in front of you. You splashed water at him in frustration, and he swiped a hand over his face with a chuckle. 

“That’s not funny.” You said seriously. “I thought maybe it was one of the Infected.” 

He sobered up at the look on your face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that.” You didn’t reply. “We monitor this area too, Clara. We’ve never seen any activity around the lake.” 

You nodded mutely. 

Troy flicked some water at you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Well, scare you that much.” 

You splashed him again. “It’s fine.” 

You turned onto your back and floated. You gazed up at the blue sky before you closed your eyes. After a second, you said, “Me and my brother used to jump into the lake at our cottage. We’d go for a few weekends every summer.” 

“That sounds nice.” Troy said softly. 

“It was.” You said distantly. 

You cracked an eye open to see that Troy was also floating on his back. You smiled and let your eyes close again. You enjoyed the feeling of the sun on your face. 

Suddenly, you heard voices and opened your eyes. You went back to treading water. 

“Shit,” Troy muttered. He took your waist, causing you heart to skip a beat, and pulled you through the water until you were pressed against the rocky wall of the cliff. 

“Why are we hiding?” You asked. 

“Shh.” Troy said softly. “This is our drinking water, so we technically shouldn’t be swimming in it.” 

“Oh.” You said. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Troy smiled at you briefly before he went back to looking past the cliff. 

Your back was against the wall of the cliff, one of Troy’s arms beside your head as he gripped the rock to steady himself. You realized how close his face was to yours, and took the opportunity to appreciate him. You looked at the droplets of water running down his temple. You admired his dark lashes, his prominent cheekbones. You licked your lips as you glanced at his. They were pink, and they looked soft. 

You started to hear the voices fade, so you did it before you lost the courage. You cupped Troy's face with one hand and he turned back to you in surprise. 

His eyes were so blue, it made your heart stutter. He glanced at your lips, and impulsively, you leaned forwards. 

You felt his body go rigid as your lips pressed to his, but you closed your eyes and wrapped your other arm around his shoulders. You were right, his lips were soft. You pressed yourself against him, but Troy pulled out of the kiss abruptly. 

You were terrified that you’d made a mistake, but the look in his eyes made you feel like you were melting. You gasped when he pushed you back against the wall, his body tight to yours. He hesitated for a second, eyes searching yours, before he leaned back in. Troy kissed you fiercely and you loved it. He was kissing you as if he was a man starved and your lips were forbidden fruit. 

Troy gripped your waist with the hand that wasn’t against the wall and your legs wrapped around his hips instinctively. He trailed his tongue along your bottom lip and you parted your lips eagerly. You moaned when his tongue swept into your mouth, digging your fingers into his shoulder. 

Finally, he pulled away, so you could both breathe. His face was flushed, lips starting to swell. Your own lips were tingling. 

“Damn, Clara.” He murmured. He took his hand off your waist and cupped your jaw, running his thumb along your bottom lip. “I've been waiting for you to do that for a while.” 

You looked at him in shock. “ _Waiting_ for me? Why?” 

He shrugged. “I didn’t want to scare you off.” 

You chucked softly. “I thought I was making it pretty obvious that I wasn’t afraid of you.” 

He smiled at you. “You were. But what can I say, I’m a gentleman.” 

You laughed again, feeling a blush on your cheeks. 

“You’re cute.” He said softly, regarding you with gentle eyes. 

Your cheeks got hotter, but you pressed forward to give him one more kiss. It was slower, sweeter. Less fire than before, but it made your heart stir just the same. 

You sighed in content as you pulled away. “Do you think maybe we should be getting back?” you asked, thumb tapping his chin. 

“You finally got me in the water, and now you want me to get out so fast?” he asked cheekily. He pulled your legs off him, causing you to blush, and did a couple back strokes. “Nah, let’s stay for a while.” 

You shrugged and dove back under the water. It felt good against your face, the skin was still burning from the kiss. 

When you surfaced, you went back to floating. Troy was leisurely wading through the water, and it was just so peaceful. 

After a while, you got out of the water and climbed back up to the top of the cliff. You lay down using your shirt as a pillow, and Troy lay beside you. You closed your eyes against the sun and felt it drying the water from your skin. You hoped it would dry out your underwear quickly, so you didn’t have wet garments on under your clothes. You did have spare underwear, but it would be easier this way. 

After a while, you rolled onto your stomach carefully, folding your arms beneath your cheek. You felt so warm and relaxed, that you actually managed to doze off. 

You were roused from your nap when you felt something touch your skin. You opened your eyes to see Troy sitting up beside you. He was still in just his underwear, and he was tracing a finger down your spine. It made goosebumps erupt over your skin. 

“I think it’s almost time for dinner.” Troy said, still tracing his finger over your skin. 

“Really? We’ve been here for that long?” You asked. 

Troy nodded and pulled his hand back. “We should get back.” 

You sat up and stretched out the kink in your neck, then ran your hand through your damp hair. “Okay.” 

You stood up and patted your butt, seeing how dry it was. It was almost fully dry so you pulled your jeans back on. You shrugged your shirt back on and sat back down to put your socks and boots back on. 

Troy held his hand out for you to help you stand. He didn’t let your hand go right away, and he pulled on it a little. You stepped closer and let him cup your face so he could tilt it up to his. 

You grinned a little as he leaned down to kiss you, but kissed him back sweetly. 

He smiled at you softly when he pulled away. 

You felt this lovely, giddy feeling as you walked back to the ranch for dinner. You could tell that Troy was happy too. 

Troy sat beside you as usual, but he sat close enough that his arm pressed against yours. Nearer to the end of dinner, you felt Troy's hand on your thigh. It made you jump a little in surprise. 

“Are you okay, Clara?” Jake asked. He was sitting across from you. 

“Uh, yeah. I think I just got bit by a mosquito.” 

“Damn.” Jake said. 

You gave him a tight lipped smile, and saw Troy smirking out of the corner of your eye. 

He ran his knuckles up and down your thigh, sending tingles up your leg, and also between your legs. 

You drank the last of your water and put your hand under the table. You covered Troy’s hand with yours, and brought it high up on your leg, his fingers a mere inch away from the apex between your thighs. You only let it rest there for a second before you pulled your hands away and stood up. 

Troy looked a little bewildered and it was your turn to smirk. You grabbed your tray and put it away. You turned to see that Troy had followed you. 

You went over to where the fire would start soon, and sat down. Troy sat with you. 

“Can I ask you something?” he said. 

“Sure.” 

“Did you like kissing me?” 

You blushed. “Wasn’t it obvious?” 

“I need you to tell me.” Troy said seriously. 

You searched his eyes before you spoke. “I did.” 

“Okay,” Troy sighed, visibly relieved. 

“Did you like kissing _me_?” You asked. 

“I did, very much.” Troy said throatily. 

You were relieved, too. “So, I guess that makes us more than just friends.” 

Nothing more was said as people started filling the seats around the fire pit. Jake lit the fire and people began to chat. You didn’t feel like conversing with anyone else. You just wanted to finish talking with Troy, but that would have to wait until you were alone. 

You leaned against him subtly, and he let you. You dragged your hand up his back and gently ran the tips of your fingers across his shoulder blades and down his spine. You kept this up for a while, before he leaned over to whisper in your ear. 

“Do you want to go somewhere to talk?” He pulled back and looked at you intently. 

You nodded, and followed him after he stood up. He took your hand gently when you were further away from everyone. You smiled dopily at the action. 

He led you up to his house and you sat together on the floor of the porch, as you had many times before. The only thing that was different was the tension between the two of you. He looked down at your interlocked hands. 

“Can I tell you something?” Troy asked cautiously. 

“You know you can.” You replied softly. 

“That night I told you I didn’t want to be your friend… That was kind of true.” 

You furrowed your brow. “What do you mean?” 

“I don’t know what it was about you, but I _felt_ something for you, Clara. Something I hadn’t ever felt before. I knew I wanted to be _more_ than just friends, and that’s why I said that.” 

You nodded your head in understanding. “It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I couldn’t help but have a crush on my handsome saviour.” You blushed a little, and he smiled back at you. 

“So we’ve felt this way for a long time, then.” Troy put together. 

“I guess so.” 

“Does that mean we can… skip going slow?” he asked in a low voice. He was looking at your lips. 

Your heart beat rapidly in your chest. “Maybe I like a slow burn.” You teased. 

Troy brought his eyes back to yours. He spoke even lower than before. “With the way you were kissing me earlier, I disagree.” 

You blushed deeply and looked away. He was right, you wanted him _bad_. 

“Look at me, Clara.” He demanded gently. 

You flicked your eyes back to his. He licked his lips before he said, “Tell me we don’t have to go slow.” 

Instead of speaking, you leaned forward and kissed him again. You let all the feelings you’d kept suppressed flow out of you into the kiss. You pulled away after a second. “We don’t need to go slow.” 

“Good.” He breathed, before he pressed his lips back to yours. He cupped your face with one hand and used the other on the small of your back to pull you closer to him. 

You settled one of your hands on his chest, and gripped the wrist of the hand that was against your face with the other. He had dominance in the kiss, but you liked it. While you were both eager, you still managed to keep the kiss under control. 

As the kiss became more heated, you'd grown needier. His hands were starting to roam over your body, and your core began to ache for him. 

Troy pulled his lips off yours and began to kiss down your jaw. He pressed kisses to your neck, and you moaned at the feeling. 

At that moment, you decided that you wanted all of him. You wanted him to have all of you. You felt this... burning desire for him. 

“Troy,” you whispered. 

He kissed back up to your lips, giving them a peck before he said, “Yes?” 

You bit your lip, staring into his wide pupils. “Let's go upstairs.” You murmured. 

His eyes widened. “Yeah? Are you sure that's what you want?” 

You nodded vigorously. “Yes, Troy. I want you to take me to your room.” You traced his lips with your thumb. “ _Please_.” 

You saw his pupils dilate, and he stood up, pulling you along with him. He practically dragged you into the house and up the stairs, but you let him. You weren’t sure which one of you was the most eager. Troy opened the door to his bedroom, and as soon as he shut it, his lips covered yours. You settled your hands on his chest, and he cupped your jaw in his hands. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he whispered between kisses. “I can’t say I’ll be able to stop myself if we keep going.” 

You nodded. “I want this. I’ve wanted it for a long time, Troy.” Then you kissed him heatedly. You wrapped your arms around his neck to seal him to you. He ran his hand down your back, then squeezed your ass gently, causing you to let out a little gasp against his lips. 

Then both his hands were on your ass and he picked you up. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist and he pressed your body against the wall with his. His muscles were firm against you, and you started to feel your panties getting wet. 

After a few minutes of heated kissing, Troy took you over to his bed and laid you down. 

“I’ve never… been with anybody before.” You uttered nervously, looking up at Troy. 

You'd only ever had one serious boyfriend before, but you'd never slept with him. You had always wanted to wait, but seeing as it was the apocalypse, you didn’t really want to die a virgin. And something about the way Troy touched you, the way he looked at you… it made you crave him in every possible way. 

“Me neither. I’ve never wanted anybody as much as I’ve wanted you.” Troy said, his lips pressed against your ear, his fingers gently running over your neck. “Never has a person made me feel the way you make me feel.” 

You moaned at his actions and words. He kissed you again, his lips starting another fire against your own. With shaky fingers, you made the first move by dragging the bottom of his shirt over his chest. His hands joined yours and he dropped the shirt to the floor. You licked your lips as you looked at his subtle abs and pecs. 

“Can I take off yours?” he asked. 

You nodded, then added, “You don’t need to ask. I want this, Troy, and I want _you_.” 

He gave you a deep kiss before he took the hem of your shirt and pulled it up. You helped him get it over your head, and you tossed it aside, eagerly wanting to continue when you saw Troy swallow thickly at the sight of you in your bra. 

You reached a hand behind your back to unclasp your bra, but Troy stopped you. 

“I get to undress you tonight.” He stated firmly. 

His words caused more arousal to seep out of your core. You pulled your hand away and wrapped it around his bicep. “Then hurry up and do it.” You whispered lustfully. 

Troy ducked his head to kiss your neck, dragging his lips down your sternum to the valley between your breasts. He nuzzled you gently and his hand snaked around your back. His fingers struggled for a moment behind you but he undid the clasp and pulled your bra out of the way, so he could shower your breasts with kisses. 

You practically threw the garment across the room when he sucked your nipple into his mouth. You let out a whine as he wrapped his tongue around it. 

He kissed his way down your stomach and sat back on his knees to unbutton and unzip your pants. You watched him pull your jeans down your hips and over your feet after he took off your boots. 

Your chest was heaving as you lay before him in just your panties. You flushed under his gaze. 

“Take your pants off.” You croaked, avoiding the urge to cover your bare breasts. 

Troy kept eye contact with you as he undid his belt and fly, then he sat on his butt to pull them off completely. 

Your heart beat rapidly when you saw his erection straining against his boxers. 

You reached out for him and he interlocked your fingers, crawling back over you to kiss you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he settled against you. When his groin contacted yours, you gasped, and Troy groaned. 

He was so hard, and you felt your core aching for him to fill you. 

“Troy,” you murmured against his lips. 

“Yes?” he murmured back. 

“Troy, please… I want…” 

He kissed you again, briefly. “Tell me what you want.” 

Your entire body ached with need. “I want to feel you inside me.” You whispered, combing your fingers through his hair. You felt him grow harder against you. 

He hooked his fingers in the waistband of your panties and dragged them down your legs. You squeezed your legs shut when he pulled them off, and didn’t move, even when he dragged his hands down your legs. 

“Take yours off, too.” You urged. 

He pulled down his boxers and you spread your legs. You bit your lip when you saw how big he was. He was staring at your center. You squirmed under his gaze, went to bring your legs back together but he stopped you with a hand on your knee. 

“God, you’re so beautiful.” He murmured, causing you to flush. 

He settled back over you and kissed you, gently this time. You felt yourself starting to relax. Troy released your lips and reached over to his nightstand. You watched him open the drawer and take out a box. 

A box of condoms. 

That was a relief, but you wondered how he got them. 

“Jake gave them to me.” Troy said, as if reading your mind. 

“Oh.” You said. “Well, I’m glad he did.” You said demurely. 

Troy took a condom from the chain and opened it. You waited for him to put it on, heart beating rapidly in your chest. When he did, he took one of your legs over his hip. 

“Are you ready for me?” he asked in a sultry voice. 

“Yes,” you exhaled. 

You reached down, wrapping your hand around his hard length and guiding him to your entrance. He exhaled deeply at your touch. You dragged the tip through your folds before you gently pushed it against your waiting entrance. 

Troy kept his eyes on yours as he pushed his hips forward. You bit your lip harshly against the pain of him stretching you open, hands tightly gripping his shoulders. It hurt quite a bit, probably not helping that Troy was well endowed. You willed your muscles to relax. 

When his hips met yours, he stilled. He sighed contently, as you let out a slow exhale. Something dripped down your cheek, and you realized it was a tear. 

Troy brushed it away. “Are you okay?” He looked concerned. 

You tried to smile. “I’m fine, you’re just big.” 

“I’m sorry?” he said with a smirk. 

You giggled and cupped his cheek. You were glad that he wasn’t freaked out. “Don’t be.” 

Troy kissed you in response. 

“Mm, you can move.” You said against his lips. You curled a hand in his hair. “But keep doing that.” 

Troy obeyed, pulling out of you slowly before driving himself back in, his lips moving against yours, your tongues dancing slowly. He was a little uncoordinated at first, but soon found a steady rhythm. 

He kept this up for a few minutes as you adjusted to the feel of him inside you. The pain was replaced with something else. Something deep. You felt your hips buck against his on their own accord. Troy began to pick up the pace, but it was still gentle. 

This was a type of pleasure you had never felt before. You felt like Troy filled you to the brim, nothing you had ever experienced with your fingers. He fit snugly against your walls and it felt so good. You let out a high-pitched moan. 

Troy put his finger to your lips. “Shh. Don’t want my father or anyone else hearing us, do you?” 

“I’m sorry.” You bit your lip. 

Troy kissed you sweetly. “Don’t apologize.” 

Troy continued his steady pace. You felt a fire starting to burn in your belly. Your walls clenched around Troy, and he groaned softy. “God, baby, you’re so tight around me.” 

_Baby_. Your walls pulsed again, and you dragged your nails down his back. 

“Does it feel good?” he asked you. 

You nodded, then grabbed his hand. You brought it between your legs and pressed his fingers against your clit. You could feel how wet you were. “I'll come if you do this.” You rubbed his fingers over the hard nub and moaned at the pleasure that shot through you. 

Troy rubbed you experimentally and you clenched around him, hand grasping his wrist. “Fuck,” he muttered as you moaned. 

Soon enough, he was stroking your clit vigorously and you were feeling yourself on the brink of your orgasm. Your hands clutched desperately at his back. His hips snapped into yours and you felt him press his fingers harder against you. 

White hot pleasure coursed through you as you came. “Oh, fuck. I’m coming!” you cried, your hips bucking against him erratically. You started to moan louder, so Troy put his hand over your mouth to muffle the sounds. His hips stilled as he felt your walls pulsing around him. 

When you quieted, Troy took his hand away from your mouth. “Can I keep going?” he asked. 

“Yes,” you breathed, and Troy kissed you sweetly. 

Your walls were still fluttering and squeezing Troy inside you, and he began to thrust steadily. It was almost too much, him moving in and out of your overstimulated core, but it still felt so good. He clenched the pillow in his fist. He kept going until you felt him push himself deep inside you. He twitched inside you and he pressed his forehead against yours as he filled the condom. 

Your bodies finally stilled, save for the heavy rise and fall of your chests. His skin was hot and slick against your own. 

“God, that was amazing.” He whispered, tenderly touching your cheek. Even in the dark, his eyes were so bright. “You're amazing.” 

You curled your hand in his hair and kissed him, deep and slow. “You’re amazing, too.” You panted when you pulled away. 

He slid out of you slowly and tied off the condom, tossing it in his trash can. You felt oddly empty without him inside you anymore. He lay down beside you and you twisted the sheet awkwardly in your hands as you both caught your breath. Your thighs were sticky with your arousal. 

“Would you mind if I used your shower?” You asked, looking over at him. 

His eyes were trained up at the ceiling. “If you want.” 

You sat up, but Troy caught your hand before you got off the bed. You turned to look at him. He sat up and pulled you to him. He stroked your hair and kissed you sweetly. 

You smiled at him when you pulled away. You squeezed his hand before you let him go. 

You walked to the bathroom and closed the door. You took in your tousled hair and swollen lips. You couldn't help but grin. You turned on the water and got in. 

You tried not to take too long, seeing as this wasn’t your shower. You really just wanted to wash your body, but you couldn’t resist using Troy's shampoo. 

You got out and dried off with one of the towels. You wrapped it around yourself and went over to the mirror. You wiped your hand over the mirror and ran your fingers through your hair. You really didn’t want to go back to your lonely tent, but you didn’t want to linger in the bathroom anymore. 

You opened the door and stepped back into the bedroom. Troy had slipped his boxers back on and had one arm tucked behind his head. 

You shifted on your feet, hand playing with your wet hair. “Um, I guess I should be going." 

Troy pushed up on his elbow. He held his other hand out to you. “Absolutely not. Come back to bed.” He beckoned you with his fingers. 

You bit your lip, grinning with relief. “Can I borrow something to wear?” 

“Anything you want.” 

You picked up his discarded shirt and hung the towel in the bathroom, so you could put it on. Troy was much taller than you, so the bottom of the shirt nearly covered your ass. 

You crawled back in bed and lay silently beside Troy. He gave you a peck on the lips. 

“Night, Clara.” He said contently. 

“Goodnight, Troy.” 

He turned away from you and onto his side. You bit your lip, but tried not to let it bother you. He said himself, you were the only person he had ever wanted. You knew he wasn't an affectionate person naturally. You couldn't deny that you'd rather be in his arms but being in his bed beside him was enough for you. 

When you found yourself having trouble falling asleep, you had an internal debate before you slid closer to Troy's warm body. You placed your hand on him, and he flinched. 

“It's just me.” You whispered. “I'm cold.” 

Troy turned over, and you rolled onto your back. He put his arm around your torso, tucking you beside his body, his chin pressed against your temple. “Better?” he asked sleepily. 

“Thank you.” You said meekly. 

He kissed your temple in reply. 

The thought of Troy only ever being soft with you made your heart swell, and a comfort you hadn't felt in a long time lulled you to sleep.


	5. Someone To Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 5!  
> I hope you like it! I loved writing this chapter as well :)  
> Leave a comment!  
> xo

When you woke up, you felt strangely cold. You opened your eyes and found the bed empty beside you. You frowned and twisted your hands. You tried to think if Troy had the early patrol shift or not. 

You assumed he did, because you didn’t think he’d just leave you alone the morning after. Not with the way he said he felt about you last night. 

This wasn’t a one time thing, you convinced yourself. 

You pushed back the covers and sat up. You looked around the room. It was neat, nothing on the walls but there desk and a shelf of notebooks similar to the one Troy carried around now. Your clothes and Troy’s were still strewn across the room minus his shirt, which you were wearing. You felt your cheeks heat when you saw your bra on the other side of the room. 

You looked at the digital clock on the nightstand beside you. It was 8:32 a.m. 

Your heart dropped when you realized you had missed breakfast. Everyone would have noticed your absence, Jeremiah included. 

“Shit.” You grumbled as you got out of bed. You flinched at the mild pain you felt between your legs. 

You located your panties and pulled them on, and then your jeans. You couldn’t find your shirt, and you sighed in frustration. You slipped your bra back on and then tucked Troy's long shirt into your jeans. 

You put on your socks and boots, and opened the door. You peeked around it, but didn’t see anyone. 

You tiptoed down the stairs, and you held back a gasp when you saw Jeremiah sitting at his desk. You quickly tried to flatten your hair before you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Um, good morning, sir.” You said awkwardly. 

He eyed you before he spoke. “I didn’t know Troy had a guest last night.” 

Your cheeks heated and your voice caught in your throat, but Jeremiah didn’t look like he needed an explanation. You wondered if he what he thought of you and Troy. 

“You missed breakfast. There’s some muffins in the kitchen if you'd like.” 

You were a little stunned. “Oh, thank you. That's very kind.” 

Jeremiah waved his hand at you, as if he were shooing you away. “Go on, now.” 

You nodded. “Okay. Sorry. Thanks again.” Then you turned on your heel, grabbing a muffin from the kitchen before you left the house. 

“Oh my god.” You muttered as you descended the stairs. 

You ate the muffin in record timing as you walked back to your tent, and then you realized how thirsty you were. You went over to the well and brought up the bucket. You spooned some water into a cup and brought it gratefully to your lips. 

You went back to your tent and sat down on your cot. You felt so flustered. 

You knew Troy had a shift on patrol, he probably woke up around 5:30. It was sweet that he didn’t wake you up, but it was incredibly awkward to wake up alone and then find Jeremiah downstairs. 

He definitely knew what happened. You weren’t sure if that bothered you or not. There was nothing wrong with your feelings for Troy. But you knew Jeremiah was unkind to him, and he probably wondered why you even cared for Troy. 

You just wanted to talk to Troy, but you'd have to wait. 

You grabbed your ball cap and went out to tend to the garden, as you usually would. 

“Oh, Clara!” Mary greeted you. “Where were you, I didn’t see you at breakfast?” 

You tried to stop the flush on your cheeks. “I overslept.” 

“That's too bad.” 

“It's fine.” You brushed off. You put on some gardening gloves and got to work. 

A couple hours later, the patrol switched. You tried not to think about Troy. 

You went over to the well to get a drink, and flinched when you felt a hand on your waist. 

“It's just me.” Troy's voice came from behind you. 

You put down your cup and turned. You felt heat in your cheeks, thinking about how the last time you had seen him, he was just in his boxers and you had completely given yourself to him. “Hey.” 

“Sleep okay?” he asked with a tilt of his head. He withdrew his hand from your waist. 

You nodded. You didn’t know if you should tell him about Jeremiah, but you decided it was better that he heard it from you than his father. 

“Jeremiah was downstairs when I left.” 

“Oh.” Troy said stiffly. 

You started to draw yourself away from him. “If it bothers you that he knows-” 

Troy grabbed your hand and pulled you with him. He wasn’t rough, so you followed him quietly. 

He brought you behind someone’s camper and pressed you against it. He removed your hat from your head. Then his mouth covered yours, his teeth biting at your lips softly as he ravaged your mouth. 

You let out a moan and your hands clutched desperately at his uniform. Troy dragged a hand down your back and squeezed your ass, causing you to gasp into his mouth. 

He pulled away finally, chest heaving for breath. “Why would it bother me that my father knows that I’ve finally found a girl whom I wish to pleasure?” 

This was the hottest you’d ever felt your cheeks, and you couldn’t think of a reply even if he had wanted one. 

“I’m sorry I had to leave this morning. But you looked very cute, sleeping in my bed, wearing my shirt. I just couldn’t wake you.” He said softly. “I see you're still wearing my shirt.” 

“I couldn’t find mine.” You said awkwardly. You'd forgotten you were still wearing it. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said apologetically. 

“It's okay…” You breathed. “Troy, I didn’t know what to think when I woke up without you.” 

Troy cupped your cheek. “I hope you didn’t think that last night was a one time thing.” He said firmly. 

You said nothing, just stared into his beautiful blue eyes. 

“Because it definitely wasn’t.” Troy said, stroking your cheek. 

You felt like your entire body sighed. “Okay.” 

“Oh, Clara.” He said tenderly. “Last night was probably the best night of my life. I’ve wanted to be with you for some time now. I’m not quite done with you yet. I only got a little taste last night. And speaking of…” he leaned down to whisper into your ear. “When I saw how you were dripping for me yesterday, all I could think about was tasting you.” 

“Oh!” you moaned, feeling some arousal pool between your thighs. 

“Would you like that? My tongue between your legs?” 

You nodded, but that wasn’t good enough for him. 

“Tell me, Clara.” 

“I’d like that.” You breathed. “I want to feel your mouth on me.” 

Troy kissed you again, licking his way into your mouth. His tongue stroked yours fiercely. A string of saliva snapped between your lips when he pulled away. 

“Unfortunately, we'll have to wait until tonight.” Troy said pitifully, his eyes bored into yours. 

You simply nodded back, as your breath had been stolen by his kiss. 

“Do you want to go for lunch?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Okay.” 

He stepped back and you figured he'd follow, so you started to leave. Troy grabbed your hand, though, and you turned your head to look at him. 

“We’ve still got a little time…” he beckoned you back to him. 

You grinned and let him push you back against the RV. 

* 

You weren’t sure if you were just being paranoid, or if people were actually looking at you more than usual. Troy had put your hat back on your head after your make out session, and you tugged at the bill to bring it lower over your face. 

You had always been close to Troy, but now you’d taken a different step. You wondered if people saw you sneaking off last night. 

Jake joined you and Troy, and his gaze shifted back and forth between you. “Hey, you two.” He said. 

“Hey, brother.” Troy said. 

“Hey.” You said. 

“Didn’t see you at breakfast, Clara.” He said with a knowing grin. 

You blushed. 

“Leave it alone, Jake.” Troy said. He was smiling though, and you couldn’t help but smile too. 

Jake held his hands up to his shoulders. “Alright, alright. I’m just saying, _finally_.” 

“Shut up.” Troy said, still smirking. 

Jake chuckled and started eating. 

After you finished your food, you could confirm that there were more eyes on you than usual. While people never understood how you were such good friends with Troy, someone must have seen the two of you last night. And word spread pretty fast on the enclosed ranch. The entire thing was making you antsy. 

As you put your trays back, you could feel Troy's eyes on you. 

“I’ve got a couple things to do, but I’ll see you at dinner.” He said. 

“Okay.” You didn’t really know what to do, so you just smiled and tucked some hair behind your ear. 

His gaze lingered on you for another moment before he left and caught up to Mike. 

* 

Troy surprised you by meeting you at your tent. 

“Hey,” you said when he poked his head in. 

“Hey. Almost time for dinner.” 

You got off your cot and kissed Troy in the privacy of the canvas tent before you left. 

Your fingers accidentally brushed Troy's and he stuffed his hands in his pockets. You began to frown, so you chewed on your lip to hide it. 

You sat opposite to Troy, setting your tray down on the table. 

“What's the matter?” Troy asked, looking at you intently. 

“Nothing.” You said, trying to make your face neutral. 

His foot nudged yours under the table. “I know your face, Clara. I can tell something is bothering you.” 

You shook your head. “Don’t worry about it.” You picked up your fork and stabbed a piece of food. 

Troy kept staring at you, so you sighed and finished chewing before you swallowed. “It’s really nothing.” You forced a smile but did your best to make it seem like you were okay. 

He eyed you skeptically before he said, “Okay.” 

Dinner was a little too quiet, but you preferred that to Troy questioning you. When you were done, you skipped waiting for the fire and headed over to you tent. 

When you were inside, Troy pulled you to him and kissed you after removing your hat from your head. You felt a little stiff at first, but Troy’s hand felt so warm on the small of your back that you started relaxing after a minute. He ran a hand down to your ass, giving it a light squeeze before he pulled at your shirt – his shirt – which was tucked into your jeans. 

He slipped a hand beneath the shirt and trailed his fingers up your spine. It made you shiver, but there was something nagging you at the back of your mind. You finally stopped him when his fingertips reached your bra. 

You pulled out of the kiss, and Troy’s hand settled back on your waist. 

“Too fast?” Troy asked. 

“Um, it’s fine.” You said distractedly, looking at his lips. You did like kissing him. A lot. Which is why you weren’t sure why you were hesitating. 

He took his hand out from under your shirt anyway and cupped your cheek with it instead. You met his lips when he leaned back down. Something still felt off, and you thought maybe it was because you were standing. Troy was a head taller than you. You pulled him with you to sit down on your cot. 

His hand slipped under your shirt again, this time at your front. He merely held your waist, but you were hyperaware of his hand on you. When it trailed upward to softly cover your breast, you pulled away again and gripped his wrist, pulling his hand out of your shirt, muttering a sorry. 

Troy looked at you, bewildered. “Am I doing something wrong?” 

You shook your head but couldn’t meet his eyes. 

“Okay, can you tell me what’s really going on with you?” He asked. 

You chewed at your bottom lip before you spoke. “Yesterday you said that you wanted to skip going slow, and while I agreed, I can’t help but thinking that-” 

“Thinking what?” Troy interrupted. “That all I wanted was to have sex with you?” 

You shrugged stupidly, feeling embarrassed by his tone. 

“Clara, why the hell would you think that?” He sounded a little angry. 

“I don’t know!” You exclaimed. “I don’t know. I just feel weird.” 

Troy narrowed his eyes. “Weird because we had sex?” 

“No,” you said quickly. “It’s just that I think it all happened really fast.” 

His eyes flashed. “I _asked_ you if-” 

Now you interrupted him. “I know you did. And I really was okay with everything last night. I don’t know what to tell you, Troy. We never really got a chance to talk about what was going on with _us_. It might not be a big deal to you… but I _gave_ myself to you, Troy.” 

“You think I don’t know that?” Troy was looking at you intensely. “It was the same for me, okay? What exactly do you think is going on here? You really think all I want to do is sleep with you?” 

“I don’t know!” You were starting to get hysterical. 

Troy stood up with a humorless laugh. “I can’t believe you think that little of me.” 

“No, that’s not what I meant.” You said quickly. 

“Then what _did_ you mean?!” He asked, his eyes were hard as he stared down at you. 

“I just want to know what you want from this!” You said desperately. 

“And you just came to the conclusion that I’m just in it for sex? Why would you think that?” 

“I don’t know.” You said self consciously. “You said it wasn’t a one time thing but that could mean anything. I guess I’m just stupid and insecure and not sure if you’re into me for me or into me for s-” You broke off when Troy left your tent. 

You were stunned. He just got up and left? After a couple seconds of silent shock, you felt your eyes starting to burn. Your lip quivered, but you didn’t want to cry, so you pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes and rested your elbows on your knees. 

You sat there quietly in distress. Had you really already fucked everything up? 

You straightened up suddenly when you heard someone come in your tent. It was Troy. He tossed something onto the cot beside you. It was the box of condoms he’d had in his nightstand. 

You stared at it dumbly, then looked back to Troy. 

“I need you to know that you're more than just some girl I want to fuck.” He said in a serious tone, and you tried not to flinch. “You are so much more than that, Clara. I’m sorry if I suck at showing you that.” 

That made you feel better, but he wasn’t done talking yet. You weren’t sure you knew what to say anyway. “This is new for me too, and it hasn’t even been a day… I didn’t know how to talk about what was going on between us. You make me nervous, Clara, and I'm not used to being nervous.” He finished softly. 

You felt so much relief now, so much warmth had entered your heart. It was weird to go from one extreme emotion to another. Finally, you spoke. “I make you nervous?” You asked with soft curiosity. 

“Extremely.” Troy said, almost sheepishly. “Because you’re too important to me, and I don’t want to screw anything up.” 

You stood up and wrapped your arms around his middle. You held him tight. He'd barely said anything, but the things he had said made you feel so much better. He made any insecurities you'd been feeling dissipate. 

He stroked your hair and rested his cheek on your head. “Don't get me wrong, last night was amazing and I'd love to do it again. But the sex can be on your terms. I want more than that. I want you to be my girl, if that’s what you want.” He said softly. 

You felt your heart flutter at his words. “I want that.” You said. 

Troy gripped your shoulders and pulled you back, so he could look at your face. “Yeah?” 

You nodded and stood on your toes to kiss him timidly. “I'm sorry.” You said when you pulled away. 

“You don’t need to apologize. Everything did happen kind of fast, so it's not your fault if it started messing with your head.” Troy said. “I’m sorry we never got around to talking.” 

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. I was just feeling self conscious, I guess. I wanted you so bad last night, and it was weird waking up alone. And I felt like people were staring at us all day. I was just getting all in my head.” 

“I’m sorry I forgot to tell you that I had a shift on patrol. It looked like you were in a deep sleep, and I really didn’t want to wake you.” 

“That's sweet.” You said sincerely. 

Troy trailed his finger down your nose, and your breath caught slightly at the gesture. “I want to be like that for you. I just don’t feel like I know how.” 

“I think you’re doing okay.” You replied, smiling encouragingly. 

Troy shook his head. “I don’t want to just do _okay_.” 

“Well, like you said. It’s barely been a day.” 

Troy nodded. 

You bit your lip before you said something else. “Troy, I need you to know one more thing.” 

“What’s that?” He looked at you attentively. 

“I'm not mad that we skipped going slow. I’ve had feelings for you for so long and we've flirted with each other _a lot_.” He grinned, and it was infectious. “I might not have anything to compare it to, but… I loved the way we were last night.” 

You saw a slight flush appear across his cheeks. “It was something, wasn’t it?” 

You chuckled lightly. “I’m looking forward to doing that again, too.” 

“Fuck, baby.” He sighed, cupping your cheek. You shivered. “Me neither.” He kissed your lips sweetly, then moved his kisses down your throat. He began nibbling at the skin. 

You let yourself enjoy it for a moment before you pulled away. "And I'd be up for it tonight if I wasn't feeling sore." You said, a little embarrassed. 

Troy's eyebrows drew together in concern. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes," you assured him quickly. "I'm just not... used to you yet." Your cheeks felt warm. 

Troy brushed his thumb over your cheekbone. "Okay. But seriously, tell me if I ever hurt you." 

You nodded. "I will." 

After a moment, Troy seemed to remember that you were standing in the middle of your warm tent. “Uh, not that I’m not enjoying the privacy, but what do you say to going somewhere a little less cramped?” 

“That would be great.” 

He took your hand gently and led you down to the fire, joining the guys there. You thought Troy would drop your hand when you arrived, but he only did when you sat down. Then he draped his arm around your shoulders. 

The gesture warmed your insides and you leaned into his side. You accepted a beer from Mike and sipped at it. You'd always been a lightweight, and after you finished the bottle you could feel the buzz in your head. 

You denied another beer when Coop offered, and rested your head on Troy's shoulder. You became very aware of his scent. You could smell his soap and something else, something masculine that made your head fuzzier. 

You put one of your arms around his torso. You didn’t care that people were looking at you. You were glad, in fact, you wanted the whispers to stop. This would put an end to it all. 

You pressed a kiss to Troy's neck, right below his ear. You let your lips linger for a second before you pulled back. 

Troy pressed his lips to your forehead briefly before he re-engaged himself in the conversation. 

His lips caught your eye, and you remembered what he said he'd wanted to do to you. All you could think about was those lips between your legs, and that mixed with his intoxicating scent and the buzz from the beer made you want him, bad. You felt your panties growing damp. 

Before long, you moved your mouth back to Troy's ear. You spoke in a low voice. “I want you to do what you said you were gonna do to me tonight.” 

His eyes flicked to yours with a dark understanding. He said nothing but pulled your arms from around him and stood up. You took his hand when he offered it, standing and following him as he took you over to his house. 

You were back against the wall of his room before you knew it, lips against Troy's. He kissed you fiercely, and you moaned into his mouth. 

“I was wondering if you forgot, or if you'd changed your mind after everything.” He panted after pulling away. 

You shook your head and pulled his shirt up his stomach. He tossed it to the ground before he pulled off yours. You giggled a little when you remembered it was his shirt. 

“If you wanted your shirt back, you could've just asked.” You teased. 

“Very funny,” Troy murmured, leaning back in to kiss you. 

You were still giggling, preventing him from kissing you properly. Troy pulled away and stared into your eyes. 

“Are you drunk off one beer?” He inquired. 

“No!” you swatted his chest. He’d seen you drink before, and you never drank more than 2 beers. You’d never gotten shitfaced at the ranch, despite some of the boys doing so. “I’m buzzed, is all.” 

Troy looked at you wearily. 

You put on a more serious face. “I know what I'm doing, Troy. I know that you smell fucking _good_ , and that your hands feel good. I know that I really want to feel your mouth on me because I’ve been thinking about it for a while and it's making me crazy.” 

Troy looked at you hungrily and pulled you over to his bed. You kicked your boots off before you lay down, head propped on his pillows. He hovered over you, kissing your lips deeply before he moved his lips down your neck. He let his tongue dip between your breasts before he continued kissing down your stomach. You curled your hands in the sheet beside you, his lips sending warm electricity through your veins. 

He sat up on his knees when he reached your jeans, and he hastily undid the button and unzipped the fly. You lifted your butt, allowing him to drag the denim over your hips. He pulled them off and your heart beat faster as you anticipated him taking off your underwear. But he didn’t. He gently pressed kisses up your inner thigh, did the same to the other leg, before he looked up at you. 

“You’re still sure you want this?” He asked huskily. 

“Yes! Fuck, Troy. Please keep going.” You whined. 

“I don’t really know what I’m doing.” Troy said, his voice wavering. 

You found his uncertainty very cute. Your buzz was starting to wear off, but you still desired him. 

You pushed yourself into a sitting position and pulled on his chin so he would straighten up. You kissed him soundly, then coaxed his tongue to play with yours. When you needed to catch your breath, you pulled away, but not before you licked at his top lip. “You’re a good kisser, Troy. Just do that, but down there. And you can use your fingers, too.” 

Troy licked his lips. “Can you show me?” 

Your heart stuttered. “Uh-” 

“Please?” He added. 

“I guess I could.” You said, feeling a flush creep up your chest. 

You lay back down and pulled your panties off with a blush. You couldn’t believe you were about to finger yourself in front of Troy Otto. You spread your legs, and you could tell that you were soaked when the cool air hit your folds. You almost felt embarrassed, but the look in his eyes made more arousal seep out of you. 

Troy remained on his knees, and you planted your feet on the bed on either side of him. You started by squeezing at your breasts over your bra before you trailed your fingers down your stomach. You closed your eyes and skimmed past your clit and used two fingers to collect some of the moisture at your entrance. You dragged your wet fingers to your clit and rubbed it up and down. You bit your lip at the stimulation, hips slightly bucking. 

You stopped stroking your clit after a few seconds to drag your fingers back over your folds. You spread your arousal around before you went back up to your clit. You stroked it lazily, rubbing your fingers over it in circles. You felt your core aching to be filled, so you spread your legs further and teased your entrance with your free hand. 

“Fuck,” Troy said. You’d almost forgotten he was there. “You’re dripping.” 

“This is what you do to me.” You murmured, voice heavy with lust. 

You slowly slid your index finger inside yourself and thrust it a few times, seeing how it felt after what happened the night before. It felt good, having something inside you, so you slipped your middle finger inside as well. Your hips moved accordingly, allowing your fingers to ease deep inside you. 

You rubbed your clit and thrust your fingers in tandem, pleasuring yourself slowly, laying the foundation for your climax. You listened to the wet sounds of your fingers, and to Troy's soft breathing. The fact that he was watching you made you even more aroused. 

You moaned softly and rubbed harder at your clit. You fucked yourself faster with your fingers, feeling your climax building. Suddenly, you felt Troy’s hand close around your wrist, and he pulled your fingers out of yourself. 

You opened your eyes to protest when you saw him lifting your glistening fingers to his mouth. He kept his eyes on yours as he closed his lips around your fingers and dragged his tongue over them. He released your fingers with a soft pop. 

“You taste good.” Troy muttered, lowering himself to the bed. He kissed at the fingers on your clit before he pushed them away. 

Then he swiped his tongue along your slit. He was tentative at first, but then his tongue was stroking you with vigor. He used his tongue against your clit the way he had watched you touch it earlier, and slowly pushed two of his long fingers inside you. He gently thrust them in and out of you. 

You grasped at his head, hands curling in his hair. “Fuck, Troy. That's so good.” 

He paused what his mouth was doing to reply. “I want to make you come.” Then his mouth was back between your thighs. 

You were going to let out an obscene moan, but bit down on your hand to stifle it. When Troy rubbed a sweet spot inside you with the pad of his fingers, you couldn’t suppress your moans any more. 

“Oh my God!” you cried out. 

Troy had to throw his arm across your hips to stop them from moving. Your fingers tightened in his curls, and your back bowed off the bed as you came. 

Delirious, you collapsed onto the bed. You had to push Troy's face away, as he had moved his tongue lower to lap your arousal into his mouth. You couldn’t take it, made too sensitive from your orgasm. 

Troy swiped his hand over his glistening mouth and chin. “Damn, baby. That might have been the hottest thing I've ever seen.” 

“Are you sure you’ve never done that before?” You panted. 

Troy shook his head with a proud smirk. “I'm glad I could make you feel good.” 

You chuckled. “You did more than just that.” 

He grinned at you. 

You sat up after a minute, and placed your hand on his knee. “Want me to return the favor?” you asked with a tilt of your head. 

Troy shook his head, chuckling when you pouted. “Not tonight, anyway. I’m in it for more than the sex, remember?” 

“I know. But I wanna make you feel good, too.” You said simply. 

“That _did_ feel good.” Troy took your hand in his and kissed it. “Another time, baby.” 

“Okay.” You relented. You’d never gone down on anyone either, so maybe you were actually relieved. “Do you have the early shift tomorrow?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay. Want to walk me back to my tent?” 

“You can stay here if you want.” Troy said. 

Your heart swelled, but you decided it was better not to get too attached. Even if you and Troy were already close, you had entered this relationship pretty fast. Some things still needed to happen slow. 

“Thank you, really. But I think it’s better if I sleep in my tent. I know I’ll wake up on time if I’m there, and your bed’s so comfy that I slept in this morning.” 

Troy nodded and you saw that his jaw was clenched tight. You saw his eyes harden. 

“Hey,” You placed your hand on his chest. “It means a lot to me that you offered.” 

Troy placed his hand over yours. “Then stay.” 

You shook your head. “If you think I’m going to freak out again, I’m not. I know you like me, Troy. I won’t be getting all in my head when we’re not together. But this is all really new and I think we still need to let some things happen slow. And let me make it clear: I like you very much. But even though that's true, everyone needs a little space some times. It's better that way.” 

“Okay.” Troy finally said, his eyes downcast. 

“Look at me.” You said. 

He did, and you leaned forward to kiss him softly. 

“Don’t worry, baby.” You said. You felt his body relax. “Not too much space, okay?” 

Troy nodded. “Okay.” 

You picked up your clothes and put them back on. You held your hand out to Troy, palm up, and wiggled your fingers. 

He came over to you and took your hand with a little smile. 

You walked back to your tent, and you hoped Troy wasn’t too bothered that you declined his offer. When you reached the tent, you stood on your toes and kissed him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stepped up to him so your chest was pressed against his. He held onto your waist as he reciprocated your kiss. 

When your lungs began to burn you finally pulled away. Troy's eyes were bright. 

“Thanks for walking me back. And thanks for tonight.” You said softly, tapping his chin with your thumb. 

“You are very welcome.” He said in his sultry voice. 

His hands gave your waist a gentle squeeze before he let you go and walked back up to his house. 

You didn’t bother stifling your grin as you went inside your tent and got ready for bed.


	6. The Only One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I can't believe we've surpassed 200 hits! Thank you so much for reading!  
> I am back in school now so I may not be able to post a weekly update going forward.  
> I hope you like this chapter. Please leave me a comment, I love reading what you guys have to say. It doesn't even have to be praise, honestly if there's something that you don't like I want to know what it is! Maybe I can improve my writing.  
> Enjoy!  
> xo

Everything with Troy had come so naturally. Even though you had only been together for maybe a week, you felt like he’d been your boyfriend for much longer. 

You hadn’t seen him yet today, as you had skipped breakfast. You were getting your period and you’d always suffered from terrible cramps on the first day. You had Troy's shirt on and were curled up on your cot in the fetal position. 

“Clara?” You heard Troy's voice outside your tent. “Can I come in?” 

“Yeah.” 

You heard the zipper and then Troy came in. “What's wrong, baby?” he asked in concern when he saw you. He knelt beside the cot and settled a hand on your hip. 

Your cheeks flushed a bit. “I've just got cramps.” 

Troy gave you a puzzled look. 

“Like, menstrual cramps.” You clarified. 

Troy's face blanched a little. “ _Oh_.” 

“Yeah.” You sighed. 

“Is it bad?” 

You didn’t want to be dramatic but gave him a detailed description. “It feels like someone’s driving a knife across my uterus.” 

Troy rubbed his hand over your hip. “I’m sorry, baby. Is there anything I can do?” 

Unfortunately, Jeremiah didn’t believe menstrual pain was a valid reason for getting pain medicine. You were still able to get pads and tampons, thankfully. 

“No, but it's fine.” You said, trying not to contort your face at the pain. 

Troy shook his head. “No, it’s not. I’m not letting you lie here on this cot to suffer when I can at least make you more comfortable.” 

You pushed up on your elbow. “What do you mean?” 

“You can stay in my room if you'd like. I know my bed is nicer than your cot.” 

You did love his bed… 

“Are you sure? What about your father?” You asked meekly. 

Troy shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t care.” 

You pretended to think about it, but you already knew what you wanted. “Yes please.” 

Troy grinned. He stood and held his hand out to you. You took it and stood up too. 

You were quiet as you walked up to the house on the hill and then to his room. He led you to the bed and you sat down. 

“Be right back.” He said before he was out of the room. 

You waited for him patiently and he came back with a closed fist and a glass of water. You sat up as he handed you the glass. Then he placed a pill into your other hand. 

You stared at the little pill before you looked back up at Troy in amazement. “Where did you get this?” 

“My dad keeps a bottle of aspirin for his hangovers. I may happen to know where he stashes it.” He said with a wink. 

“Thank you, Troy.” You said gratefully before you popped the pill in your mouth and swallowed it with some water. 

“If I had known, I could have gotten you some earlier.” 

You shrugged. “You could get in trouble.” 

Troy brushed that off. “I’d do anything for you.” 

“You don’t have to.” You said as you put the glass on his nightstand. 

“I want to.” Troy said tenderly. 

You cupped his face to kiss him sweetly. “Thanks, baby.” 

“You’re welcome.” He smiled softly. “Now, I've got to get going but you can stay here as long as you want.” 

You curled up on his bed. “Okay. See you later.” 

He slipped out of the room and closed the door. 

It was things like this that were making you fall harder for Troy. 

You cozied under the covers and felt yourself doze off as the pain from your cramps faded away. 

You woke up a bit later, hunger gnawing at your stomach. You froze a little in surprise when you saw Troy, shirtless, standing by his dresser. 

“Hey, handsome.” You said. 

He turned around. “Sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you. I was just finishing up after a shower.” 

You sat up, running your hand through your hair. “You didn’t wake me. God, I just had the best nap.” 

Troy gave you the smile that melted your heart. “I’m glad to hear that.” He pulled a gray t shirt out of his drawer, but you didn’t want him to cover his toned chest. 

You slipped out from the covers and took the shirt out of his hands. You dropped it onto the ground. 

“What are you doing?” he asked. 

“I've been thinking…” you trailed your fingers across his abs, “That I really want to go down on you.” 

“Right now?” He asked with wide eyes. 

“Please? Will you let me?” you asked innocently. 

“Fuck, Clara. Are you begging to pleasure me?” he asked, voice dark with lust. 

You nodded and palmed the front of pants. He stiffened at your touch. “Let me make you feel good.” 

“I’d like that.” Troy sighed. 

You pushed him over to the bed while you undid his fly. He let the pants drop from his hips before he sat down on the edge of the bed. 

You sat on his lap to kiss him, softly grinding over him to make his erection grow. His hands squeezed your waist as he kissed you back eagerly. When you felt him straining against his boxers, you got off his lap and knelt before him on the floor. 

Troy stared at you with lust blown pupils and pushed his boxers down. He sighed when his erection sprung free. 

“Lick your hand.” He instructed. 

You did as he said, coating your palm and fingers in saliva. Then he took your hand and wrapped it around his shaft, his hand over yours. He sighed at the touch. The tip of your middle finger and thumb just barely touched. 

“Your hand’s so small.” He said in awe. 

You did have small hands. You giggled. “I don’t think that's what it is.” You winked. 

He blushed a little, and began to show you how to pump him. He let you go after a while, leaning back on both hands as you stroked him. You saw something leaking from the tip, and you leaned forward, using your tongue to swipe it into your mouth. 

“Fuck.” Troy muttered. 

It tasted salty, and you wrapped your lips around the head and slowly tongued his slit. You slowed your hand as you began to take Troy into your mouth. He let out a hiss of pleasure, one hand threading through your long hair. 

You didn’t want him to hit your gag reflex so you stopped after you had a couple inches to keep your hand around. You adjusted to the weight of him on your tongue before you pulled your head back. You moved your fist the same way as your head. You began to bob your head up and down Troy's member, squeezing with your hand every now and then. 

“Fuck, baby. Your mouth feels amazing.” He rasped. 

You released him from your mouth for a second to catch your breath. You pumped him fast in your hand. “I want you to come in my mouth.” 

He groaned at your words, hand tightening in your hair. You took him back in your mouth and bobbed faster. You could feel Troy thrusting his hips every now and then, and before long you felt him pulsating. 

“Shit, Clara. I’m gonna come.” 

His hips lifted off the bed and he pushed himself down your throat. You held onto his thighs as he came, focusing on relaxing your throat. His cum was warm and slid right down your throat. 

You had to pull off him to swallow, wiping at your mouth with a cough. Your jaw was tired now, but Troy looked like he was in pure bliss. He let go of your hair and flopped down onto his back. 

“Oh my god.” He said, closing his eyes. 

You got off the floor and straddled his waist. You splayed your palms on either side of his head and stared down at him. 

“Troy?” 

He opened his eyes and rubbed his hands over your ass before he settled them on your waist. “That felt so fucking good, baby.” 

You licked your lips. “Yeah?” 

“Yes.” He sighed. “Do you want me to do anything for you?” 

You shook your head. “Not for a couple days.” 

“Okay.” He said, colour flooding his cheeks. 

You rolled off him and let him pull his pants and boxers back up. You leaned on your elbow and traced your free hand over his abs. 

He glanced over at you. “We can probably head down for lunch now.” 

“Okay.” You pulled your hand back and got up. You brought Troy's shirt over to him from where you had dropped it. 

“Thanks.” He said before he pulled it on. 

He took your hand and led you downstairs. You paused a little when you saw Jeremiah sitting at the desk, and Troy had to pull you along. 

“I didn’t see you out in the gardens this morning, Clara.” Jeremiah said. 

You never understood why Jeremiah always berated you about this. You understood working for your keep, but the gardens were in great shape. There wasn’t much to do when they were worked on each day by multiple sets of hands. 

Troy answered for you. “Clara wasn’t feeling well, so I took it upon myself to dismiss her from duty today.” He said sarcastically. 

“You don’t have the authority to do that.” Jeremiah said in a hard voice. 

Troy shrugged. 

“Just because you two are having relations doesn’t mean she gets special privileges.” 

Your blood boiled at his words. 

Troy merely rolled his eyes. “Clara is my girlfriend, Dad.” 

“Doesn't change what I said.” 

“She’s not with me to get out of doing work.” Troy said sternly. 

You finally spoke. “Sir, I'm not _having relations_ with Troy to get any special treatment. I understand that I need to pull my weight. But you need to understand that I like Troy very much, and I’m with him because I care for him.” 

Troy gave your hand an affectionate squeeze. 

“Come on, baby. Let’s go before we’re late for lunch.” Troy said. 

You stared hard at Jeremiah for another second before you let Troy pull you away. 

“I’m sorry about that.” He said as you left the house. 

You shrugged. “No offense but your dad’s an old stick in the mud. Like _old_.” 

Troy snorted. “I know. Who even says, ‘having relations’ anyway?” 

You huffed out a laugh. “I don’t know.” Before you got too close to the others gathered for lunch, you stopped Troy. “Listen, I meant what I said, you know?” 

Troy smiled gently. “I care for you, too.” 

You returned his smile before you went over to get some food. 

* 

A few days later, you were finally off your period. Troy had snuck you another pill on the second day, so you could be out and about instead of confined to a bed. He came to your tent to give it to you before breakfast. He assured you that his father hadn’t taken notice yet. 

Troy was on the evening patrol shift today, and he would be back in time to sit with you by the fire. You were sitting by yourself, patiently waiting until Troy arrived. You denied a beer from Coop and didn’t bother to participate much in the conversation. 

A guy from Troy’s militia sat down beside you. You hadn’t spoken to him much before, and you thought his name was Liam but weren’t entirely sure. He had a dark mop of hair and brown eyes. 

“Good evening.” He said. 

“Hey.” You said. 

“I’m about to grab another beer, and I can get one for you if you’d like.” Liam said. 

You shook your head. “I’m good, thanks.” 

Liam drained the last of his bottle, then moved his arm behind your shoulders to leave it on the picnic table your back was leaning against. He didn’t bring his arm back around, and you could feel the sleeve of his jacket brushing against your back. 

You looked at him sideways but didn’t say anything. 

“Got any plans later?” He asked. 

“I’m just waiting for Troy.” You said, trying to be polite. Didn’t everyone know by now that you were together? 

“You know, I’ve never heard much from you.” Liam said. “I always just see you looking at Troy with your eyes glazed over.” 

You scoffed. “Excuse me?” Who the hell even was this guy to talk to you like that? He must have been drunk. 

“If you’re always like this in conversation, I’m not quite sure why Troy keeps you around. Unless, of course,” he raised his hand and brushed his thumb across your lips, “you’re a good fuck.” 

You slapped his hand away from your face. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” You demanded angrily. You were going to stand up, but he gripped your shoulder and brought your body tight to his. 

“So, are you two exclusive? Or do you think he’d let me take a turn?” Liam whispered darkly. 

“Get the _fuck_ off me.” You hissed, pushing at his torso. 

Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed the front Liam’s shirt and yanked him up so he was standing. Everyone around the fire had gotten quieter when you started yelling, but now there was dead silence. 

You watched as Troy brought his face close to Liam’s and glared at him. “I don’t think Clara appreciates your company.” He snarled. 

“Troy...” Liam said. You took note of how afraid he looked. 

Troy let go of Liam’s shirt, but grabbed at the collar at the back of his neck. His eyes were deadly, and it scared you a little bit. “Come on, Liam. Why don’t you enjoy my company for a while?” 

You stood up, heart pounding at the thought of what Troy might do. “Troy, don’t.” 

His eyes pierced yours. He forced a tight smile. “Don’t worry, baby. We’re just going to have a little talk about the proper way to treat a lady.” 

You bit your lip. While you didn’t care if that piece of shit got beat up, you cared about how it would be a giant step back for Troy. He'd gotten better at controlling his anger. 

“You don’t have to do this.” You finally said, looking at how Liam cowered beside your tall boyfriend. 

Troy shook his head. “Sorry, Clara. But I do.” And with that, he pushed Liam in front of him and walked off. You tried to go after them as their silhouettes disappeared, but Jake put a hand on your shoulder to stop you. 

“Clara, let him go.” Jake said firmly. “He’s not going to let Liam get away with what he did even if you begged him on your knees.” 

“You don’t know that.” You said, but you didn’t even believe yourself. 

“I should have told you before, how careful to be with Troy.” Jake said, scratching at his chin. “It slipped my mind when I saw how happy being with you had made him. I’m glad that he’s got you, but you need to know that Troy’s going to be very protective of you. He’ll be... almost possessive.” Jake said with worried eyes. 

You pondered that for a moment. “I don’t think he’s been possessive.” 

“You haven’t been together for that long.” Jake reasoned. 

“I don’t think he'd be like that.” You said firmly. 

Jake’s eyes searched yours. “Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced. 

“I’m going back to my tent. I swear, I’m not going after them. I don’t even know where they are.” 

“Okay. Have a good night, Clara.” 

“Thanks.” You muttered as you walked away, wishing you could get away from the staring eyes faster. 

You flopped down on your cot and pushed some hair off your forehead. You closed your eyes, but you were far too worked up to fall asleep. 

Sometime later, you heard the zipper of your tent being pulled. You sat up, and crossed your arms over your chest when Troy poked his head in. 

“I just wanted to see if you were okay.” He said. He didn’t come in. 

“I’m fine, I guess.” 

“Okay.” 

“To be honest, I'm more worried about you.” You said. 

“Me?” Troy asked incredulously. 

You stood up. “What did you do to him?” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Troy said. 

You grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled him into your tent. “I am worrying.” You said, gazing up into his blue eyes. 

He sighed, rolling his tongue over his teeth. He looked away from you, and the light from the lantern cast shadows across his face. “He’ll be fine.” 

“Tell me what you did.” You demanded, but you spoke softly. 

Troy shrugged. “I roughed him up a little. I might have broken his nose, but I didn’t wrap my hands around his throat no matter how bad I wanted to.” His eyes flicked back to yours. 

You sighed brokenly. “Oh, Troy.” 

“I could see that he was bothering you. And he told me what he’d said to you... I wanted to kill him.” 

You looked at him, startled. “That’s a bit excessive, don’t you think?” 

“I don’t care. No one should speak to you like that.” 

“I agree, but I think maybe it could have been handled a different way.” 

Troy shook his head. “Not if you want him to learn anything.” 

You pursed your lips, and Troy looked away. You noticed his hands were clenched into fists at his sides. 

“There’s something else bothering you, isn’t there?” You asked with narrowed eyes. 

His eyes flicked back to yours. “I don’t like seeing anyone else touch you.” He said roughly. “I want to be the only one who gets to touch you.” 

Your heart fluttered at his words. “You don’t have to worry about that.” You splayed your hand on his chest. “I’m a one-man kind of gal. You are the only one I want to touch me.” 

He didn’t move away from you, but he didn’t touch you either. “Do you mean that?” His voice was intense. 

You nodded. 

“Say it again.” His tone was demanding, but his eyes were soft. 

You stepped closer to him, closing the distance between the two of you. You tilted your head back to look up into his eyes. “You’re the only one I want to touch me.” 

He took your face in his hands and crushed his lips to yours. You fisted his shirt in your hand and opened your mouth against his when his tongue prodded your lips. 

You let out a moan when his tongue touched yours, but the contact was brief. He pulled away, and you stood on your toes to try to capture his lips again. 

“I don’t think you understand the effect you have on me…” he said. You bit your lip. He stroked your cheek with his thumb. 

Your heart stirred in your chest at the way he was looking at you. You tried again to capture his lips, and he kissed you sweetly. You deepened the kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck. He moved his hands and settled them on your waist. 

Before long, your hands were unbuttoning his uniform. You pushed it off his shoulders and pulled up the white t shirt he wore beneath it. 

He tugged it over his head, then pulled your own shirt off. “Are you still-?” He asked. 

You shook your head. “I’m good. I came off it yesterday.” 

“Wouldn’t you rather go to my room?” 

You shook your head again. “Want you now.” You murmured, kissing at his throat. You unbuttoned his fly and stepped back to kick off your boots. 

“We're not going to fit on your cot.” Troy said, toeing off his boots so he could kick his pants off. 

You dimmed your lantern until it was almost off, then pulled off your leggings. “Don’t care. We can do it on the ground. I just want you, Troy.” 

“Fuck, baby.” He groaned. “You sure?” 

You nodded vigorously. 

Troy stepped past you and grabbed the blankets from your cot. He spread them on the floor of the tent to make it softer. He set your pillow down as well. 

You went over to your bag and grabbed your first aid kit. You had put the condoms Troy had given you in there, and ripped one off the chain. 

You held it out for him, but he gripped your wrist and pulled you to him. You walked on your knees until your chest was pressed again his. 

Your lips drew together again, and Troy brushed his hands over your back. You curled one hand in his hair when he started sucking on your bottom lip. 

Troy unclasped your bra and you let it drop from your shoulders. He gently pushed at you so you'd lie down. He made sure your head was resting on the pillow before he kissed a path down your throat to your breasts. You tightened your hand in his hair as he sucked one of your nipples into his mouth. 

While it felt nice, you didn’t want to be teased. You tugged at the waistband of his boxers and pressed the foil wrapper against his shoulder blade. 

“Take me, Troy.” You practically pleaded. 

Troy chuckled before he pulled away. He pulled his boxers off and took the condom from you. He rolled it on as you pulled your panties off. 

When he was ready, you wrapped your legs around his waist and held on to his shoulders. 

“Ready for me?” he asked, voice heavy with lust. 

“Yes. Please Troy. I want you.” You almost whimpered as he dragged the tip through your folds. 

He pushed into you slowly, allowing you to adjust to his size. You let out a little moan when he was fully sheathed inside you. The stretch didn’t hurt as much as it did the first time. 

Troy pressed his face into your neck, keeping his hips still. “God, Clara. We fit so good together.” 

You didn’t know what to say, but you let out a whine for him. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, lifting his head. 

“Mm hmm. You can move.” You breathed. 

Troy set a quick pace, thrusting hard inside you. You clung to him desperately as he fucked you. You bit your lip as you submitted to the pleasure of Troy rubbing against your walls. 

He pressed his lips against your ear. He spoke in a deep voice that sent shivers up your spine. “I’m the only one who gets to fuck you like this. I’m the only one who gets to make you come. I’m the only one who's been inside you, Clara, and that's the way it should be. You are mine.” 

You whimpered pathetically at his words, closing your eyes. He was hitting all the right places inside you. 

He closed one of his hands around your breast as he pumped inside you. “Do you hear me? Only mine, Clara.” 

You nodded. “I’m yours, Troy. I only want to be yours, only want you inside me.” 

“Good girl.” He murmured back. His praise caused a wave of pleasure through your veins, a gush between your legs. 

He began to suck hard on your throat, occasionally sinking his teeth into the skin. You knew he was marking you, and you moaned loudly at how much it turned you on. 

“Shh.” Troy paused his lips against your neck. “I’m the only one who gets to hear you.” 

He dragged his hand down your stomach and his fingers searched for your clit. When he found it, he rubbed it in hard circles. 

You clapped your hand over your mouth as your hips bucked up against him. The pleasure he was giving you was overwhelming. 

Troy lost it when your walls started fluttering around him, pushing deep inside you and filling the condom. 

“Fuck, Clara.” He groaned. 

He quickened his fingers on your clit and didn’t stop rubbing until you were coming, still buried inside you. 

“Oh God.” You moaned as you finished your climax. 

He kissed you fiercely. “Fuck, baby. I’ve decided that I always need to see your face when you come. I’m never going to fuck you while not being able to see your perfect face.” 

You flushed, and he kissed you again before he pulled out and flopped onto his back beside you. 

His chest rose and fell quickly with his heavy breaths. He swiped a hand over his sweaty forehead. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah.” You breathed. You pulled at one of the blankets to cover yourself. 

“Are you cold?” Troy asked. 

You shrugged. 

Troy pulled you to him and tucked you against his side. He stroked your hair. 

You thought about what Jake had said. What happened tonight definitely proved to you that Troy was possessive. The words he had said, and the way he had fucked you… 

You looked at him cautiously. 

“You sure I wasn’t too rough?” Troy asked abruptly. 

“No, I liked it.” You said. You really had. It was different from the first time you'd had sex, but not worse. It was gentle and sweet last time, but this time was quick and passionate. 

“You did?” He asked, sounding relieved. 

“Mm hmm.” You confirmed. You threw your arm across his chest. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

After a couple of quiet moments Troy sat up. 

“I should probably go.” He said. 

You leaned up on your elbow and ran your fingers down his spine. “You don’t have to.” 

Troy looked over his shoulder at you. “I don’t deserve to spend the night with you.” 

You sat up, holding the blanket up against your chest. “That's not true.” 

Troy shook his head with a grim smile. “It is.” 

You frowned. “Troy…” 

You didn’t want him to leave, didn’t want him to be alone. 

He started pulling his clothes on. You sat there and watched for a moment before you pulled your panties on and slipped on the long sleeve navy shirt you often slept in. 

“I'm sorry.” He said as he stood up. He held his hand out to pull you up and you took it. 

You searched his eyes. “Are you okay?” you asked, tilting your head. 

Troy nodded. “I'll be okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed you gently before he left, dropping your hand despite how tight you were clinging to his.


	7. The Beautiful and Damned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not being able to post until now!  
> Enjoy, everyone :) Please drop a comment!  
> xo

You woke up in the morning a little tender between your legs, and you wished you’d woken up with Troy beside you, but you were pretty good overall. You grabbed some clothes and headed over to the shower. Your thighs were a little sticky, but that was nothing warm water and soap couldn’t fix. 

You checked your hair in the mirror and your eyes were drawn to something dark on your neck. You inspected it closer. Red-purple bruises from Troy's mouth had blossomed along your skin. You heart fluttered as you looked at them. 

You touched one delicately before you finished getting dressed. You weren’t sure if you should grab your sweatshirt to cover up your neck, but you didn’t mind the love bites. You didn’t care if people saw. In fact, you wanted them to see. Troy never made you feel like you were something he _owned_ , but he wanted people to know that you were with him. And you wanted them to know that too. 

You headed down to get breakfast. You saw Troy poking around his plate and sat beside him after getting your food. 

“Hey.” You said warmly. 

He picked up his coffee and glanced at you briefly. “Hey.” He said in a resigned tone. 

You frowned. “What's the matter?” 

He sipped his coffee before he spoke. “Nothing.” His eyes stared straight ahead. 

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” You grumbled. You pushed your hair back before you stabbed a piece of sausage with your fork in annoyance. 

Troy's hand was on your wrist before you could bring the food to your mouth. You looked at him, and he was staring at your neck. 

You flushed a little under his gaze when you remembered the hickeys that decorated your skin. 

“Did I hurt you last night?” He gingerly touched your throat. The apprehension in his voice warmed your heart. 

You put down your fork and entwined your fingers with his. “No, you didn’t. I liked what you were doing to me.” 

He raised his eyes to yours. The blue orbs were wide with concern. “I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to leave so many.” 

“Don't be sorry.” You said firmly. You leaned in and kissed him sweetly. When you pulled away, you whispered in his ear. “To be honest, baby, I think they're sexy.” 

Troy pulled back, staring at you in awe. “Really?” 

You nodded. “Mm hmm. They’re gonna show everyone that I’m _yours_.” 

He squeezed your hand with a little smirk on his lips. “They look sexy on you.” 

You smiled. Troy dropped your hand, but you cupped his cheek before he could turn away. 

“Are you okay? I was worried about you when you left last night.” You said gently. 

“I was just concerned about everything that had happened last night. I didn’t spend the night with you because I really didn’t think that I deserved to be with you.” He said dejectedly. 

“I wanted to be with you last night. Not just sex, Troy. I like being in your arms, I like being beside you.” You said tenderly, stroking his cheek. 

“I like it too, but I didn’t think I should let myself enjoy your company. Not after what I did. The way you looked at me...” Troy shook his head. “I know I had disappointed you.” 

You didn’t know what to say. “I’m just glad you stopped before you did something really bad.” 

Troy nodded, eyes avoiding yours. 

“But don’t punish yourself by staying away from me, because then you’re punishing me too.” You said lightly. 

Troy looked at you sadly. “I’m sorry.” 

You gave him a long, steady kiss. “It’s okay. Just don’t do it again.” You murmured when you pulled away, smiling gently. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He said softly. 

He kept one hand on your thigh as you ate your breakfast. He seemed less tense after what you'd said, and he kissed you pleasantly before he left to do some drills with the militia. 

You walked over to the gardens and stopped in your tracks when you saw Liam emerging from the medical tent. He glared at you with two black eyes. There was a scabbed-over cut on the bridge of his nose, confirming that Troy had broken his nose. 

You wondered if he was going to come over to you, but he didn’t. He walked away with his fists clenched. You wondered what Troy had threatened to do to him if Liam ever went near you again. 

You arrived at the gardens, chewing on your lip. You were glad that Troy hadn’t caused any more damage than the broken nose, but you wanted to talk to him more about last night when you got the chance to be alone. 

Mary blushed furiously when she saw the love bites Troy left on your neck. You said nothing and got straight to work. You heard her and some of the other women speaking in hushed voices and looking at you, but you ignored it. 

After an hour or so, Mary offered you her chiffon scarf. She normally wore it to cover her head from the sun. 

You shook your head and said, “That's okay, the sun's not too bad today.” 

Mary gave you a patronizing look. “Honey, you look… indecent.” 

You scoffed. “Excuse me?” 

“It’s not appropriate for a young lady to be walking around like that.” 

You snorted. “What is this, the 1940s? I’m not embarrassed about a few hickeys. There’s nothing wrong with them.” 

Mary forced an uncomfortable smile. “Aren’t you a little too young to be-” 

“No, Mary.” You interrupted. “But I don’t think that’s really any of your business.” You pulled off your gloves and stalked away from the gardens. 

Why was everyone on the ranch so old fashioned? It drove you nuts. You wandered over to the training field and watched the militia. Troy was standing watching, arms crossed over his chest. 

You didn’t want to bother him, but when he saw you, he beckoned you over. 

“Hey,” he said when you came over. 

“Hey.” 

“You okay? Why aren’t you gardening?” 

You shrugged. “Honestly, those ladies were driving me nuts.” 

Troy smirked. “What did they do?” 

You chewed your lip, debating what you should say. “Mary tried telling me that I was too young to be having sex. She tried to cover up my neck because she said I looked _indecent_.” 

Troy sighed. “That’s not really any of her business, now is it?” His tone was sharp. 

“That's what I said.” 

“Well, she's wrong about the other thing too. You’re beautiful.” 

You flushed and looked away. 

Troy smiled and tipped your face up to his with his hand under your chin. “I mean it. You could never be anything but beautiful.” 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and sealed your mouth to his. “Thank you.” You said sincerely when you pulled away. 

Troy shrugged, giving you a simple smile. “It's the truth.” 

Oh, your heart. 

You let him go, trying to stifle your massive grin. “I guess I should let you focus.” 

Troy touched a lock of your hair. “You _are_ pretty distracting.” 

You pushed at his chest with a giggle. “See you later.” 

Seeing Troy made you feel better, but you didn’t really feel like helping with the crops, so you went over to Jake's place. You hadn’t spent time with him in a little while. He wasn’t in his house, so you checked for him in the barn. He was grooming one of the cows. 

“Hey.” You said, resting your arms on the fence. 

“Hey, Clara. Everything okay?” Jake asked. 

You shrugged. 

His eyes bulged out of his head when he saw your neck. “Did Troy do that to you?” 

“He did, with his _mouth_.” You said. Jake had been really upset when Troy’s hand had left bruises on your wrist. You needed him to know that Troy would never hurt you like that again. 

“Oh.” Jake said in understanding. 

“Troy would never lay a hand on me.” You said firmly. “He's been good to me.” 

“Okay.” A pause. “Are you telling me this because I need to hear it, or because you do?” 

You furrowed your brow. “Me?!” 

Jake nodded. “He’s doing it, isn’t he?” His voice was hard. 

“Doing what?” You asked guardedly. 

“Being possessive.” 

You shook your head. “No. He's just… he wanted to be very clear that he wants to be the only one with their hands on me.” 

Jake stared at you, and you shrugged. 

“That sounds possessive to me, Clara.” Jake said finally. 

“It's not like that.” You continued to deny. “He just got jealous after what Liam did last night.” 

“That doesn’t justify any of his behaviour.” 

“Jake, you don’t need to worry about him like that. He's different.” 

Jake seemed to think about this for a minute. “I guess. Just be careful.” 

You threw your hands up. “Hey, you’re the one who wanted me to be his friend.” 

Jake scratched his chin. “His _friend_. It might not be so bad if you weren’t… sleeping together.” 

You ran your hand through your hair. “It's more than that.” You said sternly. 

Jake sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. Troy is very fond of you. I’ve never seen him so affectionate.” 

You smiled faintly. After a moment, you spoke again. “Jake, you really don’t need to worry about how he’ll treat me.” 

He nodded. “Okay, fine. But if he ever does anything-” 

“He won’t.” You interrupted. 

“-You need to tell me.” He finished anyway. 

You huffed out a sigh. “Fine, whatever.” 

Jake went back to brushing the dust off the cow's hide, and you went back to your tent to be alone. 

* 

After lunch, you asked Troy if he was doing anything. 

“No, I’ve just got the midnight shift on patrol tonight.” 

“Want to go to the lake with me?” 

“I'd like that. Let me just change out of my uniform.” 

“Okay.” You waited for him to come back and you walked hand in hand to the cliff. 

You sat down, legs dangling over the edge. You leaned against Troy’s side and he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. 

You wanted to talk about what happened with Liam, but it didn’t feel like the right time. 

“Want to go for a dip?” You asked, lips against his ear. 

“Maybe, if that means you're going to strip for me again.” 

Your cheeks heated a little. “If I recall correctly, very good things happened after that afternoon.” 

Troy chuckled. “You’re right.” 

He cupped your jaw and kissed you. His lips burned against yours, and you curled your hand around the back of his neck. 

Troy nibbled on your bottom lip. “Can I undress you instead?” 

“Yes.” You breathed. 

You let him lift your shirt up and over your head. Both his hands found your waist and he smothered your neck and chest with kisses. You giggled and felt him smiling against your skin. 

He nudged at you and you lay down on the rock. He tugged off your boots and socks and then dragged your pants over your hips. 

You lay there quietly as his eyes roved over your body. Finally, he stood and began pulling off his clothes. You watched him silently and waited until he was stripped to his boxers to stand up. 

He played with the strap of your bra. “As much as I’m tempted to skinny dip with you, I don’t think I’d like anyone else to see that.” 

You laughed. “I agree.” 

Troy smirked. “See you down there.” He jumped off the cliff and you watched him plunge into the water. He emerged and wiped a hand over his face, looking up at you. 

You stepped off the edge and landed in the cool water. Troy swam over to you and wrapped an arm around your waist, bringing you close to him. You twined your arms around his neck as he swam over to the wall of the cliff. 

As soon as your back was against the rock, you were kissing. Troy kept his hand on your waist, the other by your head against the rock. 

After a few heated moments you pulled away. You stroked his cheek. You didn’t want to ruin the moment by talking about Liam, so you pushed at his shoulders. 

“Let's swim for a bit.” You said. “Before I’m tempted to start skinny dipping.” 

“Okay.” Troy said with a grin. He took his hand off the wall beside your head and you swam away from him. 

You did a couple lazy circles and then started floating, enjoying the sun on your face. You and Troy stayed in the lake for a while before your teeth started to chatter. 

When you lay on top of the cliff to sunbathe and dry off, you finally brought up what you had wanted to all day. 

“I saw Liam today.” 

Troy glanced over at you. “Did he talk to you?” He asked in a tight voice 

“No. I thought he might, but he walked away.” 

“Good.” Troy said firmly. 

“Can I ask what you threatened to do to him if he ever talked to me again?” You tried to keep your tone as light as possible. 

“What makes you think I threatened him?” Troy asked, trying to keep his tone light as well. 

You chewed on your lip. You assumed that since Troy had held back in his violence that he would have threatened Liam instead. You settled with saying, “Am I wrong?” 

Troy looked away, his jaw working. “No.” He finally said. 

You sat up and decided against touching him when you saw how rigid he was. “Can you tell me, please?” You asked. 

He didn’t make eye contact, but he answered you. “I told Liam that if he ever went near you again, if he ever tried to speak to you, that I would break his neck.” 

You felt a chill run up your spine. 

Troy finally looked at you. “I told him that he was lucky that I didn’t do it right then.” 

You tried not to frown, but it was a hard task. You drew your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs. You stared off into the distance but said nothing. 

“Are you mad at me?” Troy asked. 

“I'm not mad.” You said numbly. 

“Then why aren’t you saying anything?” 

“I don’t know what to say.” You said simply. 

“Is that an excuse to shut me out?” Troy asked, quietly but firmly. 

You held back a sigh. “No.” 

Troy touched your back, and you flinched. He pulled his hand away, and you turned to look at him. 

“It's hard for me to see the good in you when you threaten to snap someone’s neck.” You said sadly. 

Troy's face fell. “I know. I couldn’t help it. Thinking of you made me stop hitting him, but I had to make sure he never went near you again.” 

“You have to try talking to people before you beat the shit out of them.” 

Troy sighed. “I know. I’m sorry.” 

“If anything like that happens again, you need to talk it out first.” 

He nodded. “I’ll try. I swear, I’ll try.” 

“Okay.” You sighed. 

You wondered if you should tell him what Jake had said to you last night and earlier today. You decided that you should since the mood was already tense, and you didn’t like keeping things from Troy. 

“Jake told me you’d be like this.” You said quietly. 

Troy eyes pierced yours. “Like what?” 

You didn’t want to use the word _possessive_ , so you settled with saying, “He said you’d be over protective.” 

Troy made a sound of dismissal. “He doesn't know anything.” 

You shrugged, then rubbed your hands over your bare legs. You had goosebumps despite the warm sun. “He just told me to be careful.” 

“Do you think you need to be careful?” Troy asked in a tight voice. 

“I don’t.” You said softly. “And I told Jake that. I trust you, Troy.” 

Troy looked at you, his expression softening. He took one of your hands and kissed the back of it. 

“You do?” 

“You haven’t given me any reason not to.” You said gently. 

Troy scooted closer to you and cradled the back of your head and kissed you. You cupped his face with both hands, reciprocating the kiss. You threw one leg over his, so you could straddle his lap. 

His tongue slipped past your lips and stroked yours, and you gripped his shoulders tightly. You started to feel yourself leaking from your core, so you pulled away before things could get too heated. 

“I think I'm dry enough to put my clothes back on.” You said, a little breathlessly. 

“Let me be the judge of that.” Troy said. 

His fingers traveled down the straps of your bra, then around to the clasp before he stopped and felt the cups. Your nipples felt hard, and you bit your lip when he realized it. 

He gave you a smirk but stopped cupping your breasts. He slid his palms down your stomach and then your back. He placed both his hands on your ass, rubbing it softly before he gave it a squeeze. He moved a hand back to your front and slowly pushed it between your legs. He touched the soaked fabric of your panties. 

“Hmm, you seem rather wet here.” He murmured. 

You blushed. 

“Would you like me to take care of that?” He purred. “Do you want me to take you to my bed so I can fuck you?” 

You felt yourself leaking even more at the thought. You nodded eagerly and got off his lap. You both threw your clothes back on, and you giggled a little when you saw that Troy's shirt was on backwards. 

He grabbed your hand and you both sped-walked over to his house. Your clothes were off as soon as you shut his bedroom door. Troy’s lips occupied yours as he pushed you down onto the bed. 

He kissed his way down your chest and stomach until his head was between your legs. He swiped his tongue through your folds a few times before he started licking your clit. 

“Oh!” you moaned, hands already curled in his hair. 

He pushed one finger inside you and kept it there until you started to buck your hips. He began thrusting it slowly, sucking your clit into his mouth before he added another finger inside you. 

You tilted your head back into the pillow, short gasps slipping from your lips. 

Troy stopped sucking your clit, replacing his tongue with his wet fingers and stroking it. His mouth moved lower, until you felt his tongue trailing against your entrance. 

He lapped at you enthusiastically, pulling your slippery arousal into his mouth. You bit your hand as you felt his tongue slithering inside you. He pressed down on your clit and you bit back your moan as you came on his tongue. 

When Troy was satisfied, he finally pulled his face away. “Mm, you taste so good, baby.” 

You wiped your hand over your forehead. “That felt so fucking good.” 

Troy gave you a charming smile, causing a flush to creep up your chest. 

He crawled up your body and reached over to the nightstand. He opened a new box of condoms and pulled one from the wrapper. He rolled it on and you stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. 

You licked your lips. “I want to try being on top.” 

Troy raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?” 

You nodded. 

Troy leaned back against the pillows, back propped against the headboard. He took your hand to balance you as you straddled him, and the action made you blush. 

You took his member in your free hand and guided him through your folds. You sighed as you pushed the tip into your entrance. Troy held your chin and kept eye contact with you as you sunk down on his length. You felt yourself leaking around him. 

“Oh, god.” You sighed, eyes closing, head tilting back. 

“You look so sexy right now.” Troy murmured. You assumed he was looking at his marks on your neck. 

You leaned forward to kiss him, swiping your tongue against his. When you pulled away, you looked at him shyly. 

“Show me?” You asked. 

Troy gripped your ass with one hand and held your hip with the other. He gently guided you, showing you how to ride him. 

You took over after a little and gripped his shoulders tightly. The angle in this position made Troy feel delicious against your walls. You steadily rocked over him. 

As you felt yourself getting closer, you closed your eyes. Troy must have caught on, because he moved one hand to your clit and rubbed it. 

“Mm,” you moaned. “I'm so close.” 

“Yeah? Come for me, Clara.” Troy said, pressing harder against your clit. 

You pressed your hips as far against Troy as you could, rocking against him as your walls began fluttering around him. You moaned and tossed your head back as you came. 

When you were done, you fell against Troy, burying your face in his neck. He stroked your hair, combing his fingers through it. He felt so hard inside you, the pressure was almost too much but you were exhausted. You felt bad that Troy didn’t come. 

You pulled back and looked at him. “I’m sorry,” you began lamely. “You didn’t-” 

“Sorry?” Troy chuckled. “Baby, that felt so good, and I’m glad you felt good.” 

“Really?” You asked meekly. 

“Absolutely.” 

You kissed him. “You can keep going if you want.” You said. 

“Are you sure?” Troy asked, tucking some hair behind your ear. 

“Yeah, I want you to come.” You murmured. 

Troy flipped you over, making sure your head was on the pillow. “You can tell me if it’s too much.” He said. 

“You still feel good.” You sighed, running your hands over his shoulder blades. 

“Okay,” Troy said, giving you a peck. Then his hips were moving, and he set a steady pace. You kept running your hands over his back, and you spread your legs farther out for him. 

It felt good, but you knew you wouldn’t come again. Not after the two orgasms you'd already had this afternoon. 

After a couple minutes, Troy pushed deep inside you and filled the condom with a low groan. He brushed his lips across your cheek before he rolled off you and tossed the condom in his trashcan. 

You gripped the duvet in your fists, trying to prevent yourself from covering your naked body. You squeezed your thighs together, feeling cold now that Troy was no longer between them. 

“Why are you squirming so much?” Troy asked, still panting. “Do you need to come?” 

You froze in embarrassment. “No, um, I just don’t… particularly enjoy being naked.” 

“Why not?” Troy asked. 

“I don’t know, it's not like there's anything special about my body.” 

“Oh, I disagree. I think it's beautiful. You’re the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.” Troy said seriously. 

“You're just saying that.” You muttered, but your cheeks grew warm. 

“I’m saying it because it’s true. I think you’re gorgeous and I love having your naked body next to mine.” He cracked a smile that melted your heart. 

You cupped his cheek and kissed him. You settled against his side and he put his arm around your shoulders. 

“You're not so bad yourself.” You said affectionately. 

He chuckled softly and kissed your forehead. 

You got up after a few minutes to clean up, and then you scooped up Troy's discarded shirt. You pulled it over your head and put your panties back on. You tossed Troy his boxers and he slid them on as you flopped back onto the bed. 

He grabbed a book from his nightstand and sat against the headboard to read it. You lay on your stomach, hugging a pillow to your chest. 

You gazed up at Troy and blushed a little when he caught you. He didn’t say anything but switched the hand that was holding the book so that he could thread his fingers through your hair. 

He began to stroke your hair, and after a couple minutes he started to massage your scalp. It felt so good. Troy's comforting touch coupled with the fatigue from sex caused you to drift off. 

* 

You roused from your nap a little while later and Troy's hand was still in your hair. You hummed contently, and Troy brushed your hair out of your face. 

His blue eyes were bright. “Finally awake?” He teased, pulling his hand away from your head. 

“I love your bed.” You sighed, stretching your legs out. “I always sleep so good.” 

“You're welcome to sleep here, Clara.” Troy said in a soft voice. 

You'd turned him down once already because you didn't want to get too attached. But things were going well, and you felt yourself leaning towards saying yes. 

You sat up, crossing your legs. “You want to share your space with me?” 

Troy looked into your eyes meaningfully. “I find myself missing you when you’re not with me.” He said after a second. His words warmed your heart. “But I know you said space wasn’t a bad thing, and we haven’t been together that long. If you’re not ready or don’t want that yet, that's okay.” 

“I want that.” You said promptly. 

He looked like he couldn’t quite believe his ears. 

You took his hands and said more to convince him that he wasn’t mishearing. “I like being with you. I’d like to sleep next to you, to wake up beside you. I miss you when you’re not with me, too.” 

He tugged at your hands and you leaned forward to let him kiss you. It was sincere and steady, and he looked at you with such adoration when he pulled away that you had to kiss him again. 

“Won’t your father be upset if I’m staying here?” You asked abruptly, the thought breaking through your happy-clouded mind. 

“I don’t know.” Troy said pensively. “I’m still not sure if he thinks you're serious about me.” 

“Well, I am. I’ve pretty much told him so already. Why would he still not be convinced?” 

Troy sighed. “I don’t know.” 

It looked like Troy was hesitating to say something else, so you waited for him to continue. 

Troy looked away from you before he spoke. “When he would get really drunk, he used to tell me that no one would ever love me. He also said I didn’t have the capacity to love. I guess he just doesn’t understand why you’re with me. He already suggested you were just sleeping with me to get off easy.” 

You stared at him in shock. “He told you that no one would love you?” 

“Yeah.” Troy said distantly. “And after hearing it for a while, I guess I started to believe him.” 

You felt your heart breaking. What kind of father told their son that no one would love them? Why would he say that Troy didn’t have the capacity to love? 

While you were extremely fond of and attracted to Troy, you weren’t sure if you were _in love_ with him. Not yet, anyway... 

But he made you feel some kind of way. And you were pretty sure that you did the same to him. 

You placed your hand gently on his thigh. “You shouldn’t believe him, Troy.” 

Troy merely looked at you wearily. 

You scooted closer to him and tucked your head under Troy's chin. He wrapped his arms around you slowly. You pressed your hand against his chest so you could feel his heart beat. 

“He's wrong.” You said. “He’s wrong, you hear me?” 

Troy took a moment before he responded. He spoke softly when he did. “I hear you.”


	8. Close to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi  
> I'm sorry it's been so long. School has been really busy and stuff in my life is kind of hard, but here's chapter 8.  
> Thanks for sticking by me, I hope you enjoy reading.  
> xo

You stayed in Troy's arms until it was time to head out for dinner. You'd both been quiet after the conversation you'd had earlier, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. It was soothing. 

As you handed him back his shirt, you studied his face. Sometimes you felt like he put on a mask to void any emotion, especially around his father. But now he seemed vulnerable. 

He gave you a little smile as he took the shirt and his fingers brushed yours. You smiled back and finished getting dressed. 

Before Troy opened his door, you pulled him back to you and kissed him firmly. 

You almost wanted to ask him if he was okay but decided against it. 

He took your hand when you pulled away, keeping it in his until you were at the dining tent and needed both of them to hold your trays. 

Dinner was quiet but you didn’t mind. Afterward, Troy carried your backpack to his room. He cleared out one of his dresser drawers and you put your minimal items in there. 

“Next time I’m out on a run and I see a store I’ll get you some more clothes,” Troy said. 

“You don’t have to.” You said, closing the drawer and turning around. You leaned against the dresser. 

Troy shrugged from his seat on the bed. “I don’t mind. It would be nice to be able to give you something, anyway.” 

You tilted your head. “What do you mean?” 

Troy shrugged. “Aren’t guys supposed to shower their girlfriend’s with gifts?” 

You grinned. “Maybe, if the world wasn’t filled with walking dead. But that stuff doesn’t matter to me, Troy.” 

“Well, I’d still like to. I wish I could give you everything.” 

Your heart warmed, and you went to him. You settled on his lap and cupped his face in both hands. “The fact that you want to is enough for me.” 

Troy leaned forward and kissed you swiftly. You tapped his chin when he pulled away. 

He regarded you softly. “How about we sit by the fire before I’ve got to take my shift?” 

You nodded, getting off his lap. Troy slung his arm around your shoulders and you headed downstairs. As you approached the fire, you saw someone get up. The fire illuminated his face, and you saw his two black eyes. 

You felt Troy tighten his arm around you, but he didn’t do anything else. Liam looked at the two of you before he turned and left. You frowned as you sat down, and Troy looked at your face. 

“What?” he inquired. 

“How was Liam when you were running drills?” 

“He seemed fine.” 

You gave him a look, and he sighed. 

“Okay, well maybe he was a little quieter than usual,” Troy admitted. 

You chewed on your lip. “Maybe I should go talk to him.” 

“You think that’s a good idea? Has he even apologized to you?” 

“I’m pretty sure he’d be too scared to since you said you’d break his neck if he ever came near me again.” You said in a hushed voice. 

Troy sucked his teeth and trained his eyes on the fire. After a moment, he said, “Just leave it alone, Clara. Please.” 

You glanced up at his features. They were hard. 

“Fine.” You said warily. 

You leaned your head on his shoulder and he granted a kiss to your crown. 

You were quiet, thinking about Troy's threat to Liam. You would appreciate an apology from Liam. You hadn’t forgotten the way he grabbed you and suggested that he wanted to fuck you. Liam didn’t deserve your pity. He was garbage, and you liked that Troy wanted to protect you. Even though that had involved violence. 

You decided to forget about it and try to enjoy Troy's warmth before you had to go to bed without him. You were a little disappointed that your first official night in his room would be by yourself. 

It was a quiet, relaxing night. Unfortunately, time slipped by and Troy pulled his arm from you. You pouted at him. 

He chuckled. “I’ve got to change into my uniform.” 

“Okay.” 

You bid everyone a good night and walked back up to the house with Troy. 

Jeremiah was sitting at his desk and put up one of his hands to stop you before you went up the stairs. 

“Yes, Dad?” Troy asked. 

“Where are the two of you going? Did you forget that you’re on patrol at midnight?” 

“Clara’s going to bed and I need to change into my uniform,” Troy said. 

Jeremiah stared at Troy, then at you, then back to Troy. “She's sleeping here now? Under my roof?” 

“What do you care?” Troy said in a biting tone. “Yeah, Clara's staying here with me now. I asked her to.” 

“I think you should have asked my permission before letting someone move into my house.” 

“Clara’s not just someone, Dad. She's my girlfriend. But I am sorry I didn’t let you know earlier.” Troy said, his tone becoming more respectful. 

Jeremiah grunted. 

You stood there awkwardly, twisting your hands. 

“Sir, I appreciate everything you've done for me. If you don’t want me to stay here, I understand. It is your house.” You said. 

Jeremiah’s eyes roved over your face, which you tried to keep as passive as possible. 

He heaved out a sigh. “As long as you don’t cause Troy to slack off on his responsibilities, then you may stay in this house.” 

You were so relieved. You didn’t want any weird tension by living in the house without permission, and now you knew it would be okay. Troy was serious about his job, you knew he'd be fine even if you occupied more of his life. 

“Thank you, sir.” You said. 

He dismissed you with a wave of his hand and Troy propelled you up the stairs with his hand on the small of your back. 

He sighed and leaned his back against the door after he closed it. 

“Come on. Time to change into your uniform, handsome.” You said, sitting on the bed. “I don't want you to be late.” 

He gave you an unimpressed look, crossing his arms over his chest. “Not funny.” 

You shrugged with a smirk, then leaned back on your hands. “Sorry.” 

“He's just trying to find any way to justify having you leave.” 

“Well, he's not going to find a way.” You said firmly. 

“He better not. I like seeing you on my bed.” He said, the corner of his mouth pulling up in a little smirk. 

You grinned back, and Troy finally went to his closet to grab his uniform. 

After he was changed, he leaned down, placing his hands on either side of your hips. He ducked his head and you moved forward to meet his lips. 

“Sorry I can’t be here tonight.” He said after he pulled away. “But I’ll be back around 6.” 

“Okay.” You said, trying not to pout. 

Troy gave you another peck before he left for his shift. 

You pulled some pyjamas from the dresser. By pyjamas, you meant your big navy shirt. No pants. Pants were overrated, especially if you were in a nice, big warm bed. 

You brushed your teeth and then snuggled under the covers. The sheets were soft against your bare legs. 

While the bed was comfortable, it was hard to fall asleep without Troy beside you, but you fell into a deep sleep eventually. Only a few times were you woken up from nightmares. 

You woke up when you felt the bed dip behind you. You rolled over and cracked an eye open. 

Troy was pulling the blankets over himself. He tucked an arm behind his head and looked over at you. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” He said softly. 

“S'okay.” You said, cuddling up to him. 

He slid his hand beneath your neck to wrap his arm around your shoulders. 

“You're so warm.” He said tenderly. 

You hummed, letting your eyes close again. “How was your shift?” 

“Boring,” Troy said. You could tell from his voice that he was tired. 

“At least you weren’t busy.” You liked knowing that there weren’t any of the Infected roaming around close to the ranch. 

You were still really sleepy, and it felt good to finally have Troy beside you. You were starting to fall asleep again before Troy said your name. 

“Hmm?” 

“I've got something to tell you, actually.” He said, and he sounded a little anxious. 

“What's that?” You forced your eyes open so you wouldn’t drift off. 

“My father gave us a new assignment.” 

“What is it? Can I come too?” 

“Not this time.” He said in a resigned tone. 

“Why not? Where are you going?” 

“We're going to be offsite for a while.” Was all he said. 

You pulled away and pushed up on your elbow to look down at his face. You'd never been allowed to go on a run that was more than a day, but you never minded that. But you felt like Troy wasn’t telling you something. 

“Tell me what's going on.” You said. You used a gentle tone, but you looked at Troy expectantly. 

“We’re going to one of our compounds. It's closer to the border.” 

“Why do you need to go there?” You asked, puzzled. 

Troy’s mouth twisted. “I can’t tell you, baby. It's classified. Big Otto's orders.” 

You sighed heavily. “Okay, fine. How long?” 

Troy frowned, his eyes shifting up to the ceiling. “Four weeks.” 

You were silent. _Four weeks_? That was so long. The longest he'd ever been away was two nights. He wasn't even your boyfriend then, and you had missed him like crazy. 

“Oh.” You finally said, lying down on your back. You stared up at the ceiling as well. 

Troy turned his head to look at you. You didn’t meet his eyes. 

You picked at the sleeves of your shirt. “When do you leave?” 

“Tomorrow.” Troy said quietly. 

You frowned. This was so sudden. You couldn’t help but wonder if Jeremiah conjured up this plan to try to keep you and Troy apart. You were sure that wasn’t true, but you were upset. Four weeks was a long time. You didn’t want to be on the ranch alone, didn’t want to spend a month sleeping without Troy. 

You turned away from Troy, lying on your side. You brought your legs up closer to your chest and stared at the wall. 

“Clara,” Troy called softly. 

You didn’t move or speak. 

Troy wrapped his arm around your stomach and pulled you against his chest. He pressed his face into your hair and exhaled deeply. 

“Don’t be mad at me.” He said into your hair. 

You sighed, then placed your hand on his arm. “I’m not mad.” You said quietly. “I’m just going to miss you. And worry about you every single goddamn day that you're gone.” 

“I'm sorry.” He said. “I hate that I’ll be gone so long.” 

“I thought I'd get to enjoy sleeping in the same bed as you for more than one night.” You mumbled. 

“We'll just have to really enjoy it tonight, then.” Troy said. 

You didn’t reply. 

Troy sighed. “Clara.” He kissed the back of your neck a few times. “Will you look at me?” 

You bit your lip before you turned around. You met Troy’s tired eyes. He cupped your cheek. 

“I’m sorry. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but I do. I’m in charge of the militia and it's my responsibility.” 

“I know.” You sighed. “It just sucks.” 

“It kind of does.” He agreed. “But there really isn’t anything we can do other than enjoy the rest of our time together.” 

You nodded. “Okay. I'm sorry, I should let you sleep. I'll head out for breakfast soon.” 

“Can you stay? You've still got an hour.” 

A smile tugged at your lips. “Sure, I can stay.” 

He smiled and tangled his fingers in your hair. He rolled onto his back, bringing his arm around you to keep you close to him. 

You rested your hand over his heart, feeling it slow as he began to drift off. 

You left for breakfast when the clock read 7:29, kissing Troy's cheek before slipping out of bed and changing into some clean clothes. 

You sat with Jake, and he noticed how quiet you were. 

“What's going on with you?” he asked. 

You sighed. “Troy told me he's got to go on an assignment for four weeks.” 

Jake nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I’m not looking forward to it either.” 

“You're going too?” You asked sharply. 

Jake nodded. “For that long, my dad likes me to have an eye on Troy.” 

You wondered what that meant, but didn’t push into that any further. “This sucks. I’ll be alone sipping tea while you guys are out risking your lives.” 

Jake sighed. “I think you might be overreacting.” 

You slouched back over your plate. “I’m sorry. I just feel like this assignment is really sudden. I’m going to be worried about you every day.” 

“I’m not going to take offense if you really mean that you’ll be worried about Troy.” Jake said light-heartedly. 

You shook your head. “You’re my friend, Jake. I'll be worried about you too.” 

Jake smiled but didn’t reply. 

After breakfast, you held your head high and went back up to the gardens. You pushed your hair back from your neck, exposing your hickeys for everyone to see. Mary flushed as she handed you some gloves, but didn’t say anything. 

You didn’t see Troy until dinner. He came over to sit across from you. 

“Did you have a good sleep?” You asked. 

“Would have been better if you were there.” He said, nudging your foot under the table. 

“Well, you’ll just have to settle for mediocrity.” You said in an even tone. You knew it wasn’t his fault that he had to leave, but you were still displeased. 

He sighed. “I thought you weren’t mad at me.” 

“I’m not mad at you. I'm mad that you have to go. I’m gonna miss you, Troy.” 

“I'll miss you too, baby.” Troy said. There was a finality in his voice, and you knew that meant it was the end of the conversation. 

You were quiet after that and finished your dinner. 

After you had put your trays away Troy slung his arm around your shoulders and led you over to the house. He sat down in one of the chairs and pulled you onto his lap. 

You slouched so you could tuck your head under his chin. 

You savoured his smell and the way being in his arms made you feel. The moment was ruined when Jeremiah walked out of the house. You straightened up and stared at your boyfriend's father. He gave you and Troy a hard look but didn’t say anything before he continued on his way. 

Your mouth twisted into a frown as he walked away. Troy squeezed your knee to bring your attention back to him. 

“Don’t frown like that.” He said, covering your mouth with his fingers. 

You pushed his hand away from your mouth. “Why not?” 

“Because I don’t like seeing you frown.” 

“You won’t have to see me frown for a month.” 

Troy sighed angrily and took his hands off you, settling them on the arms rests of the chair. 

“Why are you being so difficult?” he asked in frustration. “You know I’m only going because I have to, not because I want to. You don’t think I'd rather be here with you? You don’t think I won’t be worried about something happening to you while I’m gone?” 

You felt bad for being so childish after hearing that. You wanted to say so, but Troy wasn’t finished. 

“Let me tell you something, Clara. I'd much rather stay on the ranch and be with you. I like being able to know you're safe. It's gonna kill me to be without you for a month but it’s just something I've got to do.” 

“Okay, I’m sorry.” You said quietly. 

Troy didn’t say anything, just watched you silently. You didn’t like sitting in his lap without his hands on you. You didn’t want him to think that you thought he wanted to leave you. 

“I know it’s not your choice. I don’t blame you, Troy. I just hate that you’re going to be gone tomorrow. And you’re going to be gone for so long. It's going to be hard for me to be without you. You're all I’ve got.” You said quietly. 

He brought his hands back to your waist and squeezed gently. “I'll be back before you know it.” 

“But what if something goes wrong?” You asked with wide eyes. 

Troy shook his head. “I always come back, Clara.” 

You didn’t say anything. 

“I need you to tell me that you believe me,” Troy said, eyes searching yours. 

Did you? You'd always been worried about losing Troy since he was the only one you had left. Everyone else was gone, and you couldn't imagine life without Troy. 

You tucked your head back under his chin. 

“I believe you.” You said quietly. 

Troy stroked your hair and you watched the sunset in silence. 

“We can go sit by the fire if you want.” Troy asked after a while. 

You shook your head and raised your face to his. “I want to spend time with you. I want you all to myself.” You tapped his chin. 

Troy smiled. “Okay.” 

You rested back against his chest, and he rubbed his hand over your thigh. You tried counting the stars in the sky. There were so many, and they were so bright. But you got distracted by Troy’s hand. 

He trailed it up your thigh to your stomach, sliding it under your shirt so he could touch your bare skin, tracing patterns over it with his fingertips. 

You bit your lip and straightened up so you could look into his eyes. The blue orbs were bright even in the night. 

You glanced at his lips, watching them grow into a smirk. 

“What?” You asked quietly, flicking your eyes back to his. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” He said. His tone was a little commanding, but you felt your panties get wet. 

You wet your bottom lip with your tongue before you spoke. “I want you.” You murmured. 

“Want me to what?” He asked huskily. 

“I want you to take me upstairs and fuck me so good that I’ll remember it for the next 4 weeks.” You said, not hesitating. You wanted him bad, and you wanted this memory to last you all the time he'd be gone. 

“I think I can do that,” Troy whispered, already getting out of the chair, his arms strong around you. 

Your heart started to beat faster in anticipation as Troy brought you into the house and up the stairs to his room. 

He lay you on the bed and covered your body with his. His lips were on yours in a fury, and you wrapped your arms tighter around his back. 

His teeth nipped at your lips, and then they dragged down your jaw to nibble on the skin at the juncture between your jaw and ear. 

You dragged his shirt up his back and he pulled away from you to take it off. Then he slid down your body and pushed your shirt up your stomach slowly, kissing more skin as it became exposed to his lips. 

You let out a little hum as his tongue darted out to trace the valley between your breasts. You pulled the shirt over your head when Troy tugged at it, and he was already getting to work on your bra. 

He dropped it off the side of the bed and cupped one of your breasts so he could lave his tongue over your nipple before he sucked it into his mouth. He used his other hand to pinch your other nipple. 

You moaned, trying to rub your thighs together to relieve some of the pressure. 

Troy noticed, and pulled away. He sat up on his knees and unbuttoned your jeans. You raised your butt so he could drag them down your hips. He pulled your boots off and tossed them over his shoulder, making you laugh, and then dropped your jeans on the ground. 

Troy got off the bed to take off his pants. “Take off your underwear.” He demanded. 

Your cheeks heated a bit, but you did as he said. 

You dropped the panties off the side of the bed. Troy lowered himself onto the bed, clad only in his briefs. He moved down between your legs and kissed a path up your thigh. 

His mouth then hovered over your center, and you felt him lightly blow on your clit. Arousal leaked from your core. 

“God, Troy.” You whined. He'd worked you up pretty good. “Put your mouth on me, please.” 

He did as you asked, trailing his tongue over your folds delicately. He trailed a hand across your lower stomach, thumb tracing where the skin stretched tight over the bones of your hips and used his other hand to insert two fingers inside you. 

“Oh!” you whimpered at the intrusion. You fisted his curls in your hands as you tried to pull his face impossibly closer. 

He let out a hum against your clit and you moaned at the vibration. 

Every time he went down on you, you felt like his tongue was even more skilled than the last time, his fingers too. He was rubbing a spot inside you that made your toes curl. 

Your eyes were screwed shut, and Troy had to stop tracing your hips and grab onto your thigh to prevent you from closing your legs around his head. 

With a couple more minutes of Troy vigorously pumping his fingers inside you and fluttering his tongue over your clit, he made you come hard. 

When you finished, you let go of his hair and let your tense body relax against the bed. 

“Oh.” You sighed contently. You pressed your hands against your cheeks. 

Troy kissed up your hip and dragged his teeth over the bone. 

“Mm, come here.” You said, rubbing his shoulder. 

He kissed up your stomach to peck you on this lips. 

You wrapped your legs around his torso and your arms around his neck. 

“How was that?” he asked. 

“Very nice.” You said happily. 

He pressed his lips against your cheek. “You taste so good.” 

“Mm, I want to feel you inside me.” You purred. 

“Tell me how bad.” He whispered. 

You slipped your fingers past the waistband of his boxers and squeezed his ass. “I want you _real_ bad, baby.” 

He groaned slightly and pushed his boxers down his hips. He hastily grabbed a condom and rolled it on. He took your knee over his elbow to spread you open for him, and then he eased himself past your entrance. 

“Oh, fuck, you're so tight.” Troy said. 

You moaned in response as he started thrusting inside you, setting a quick pace. You gripped at his back, feeling his muscles tense and relax as he moved above you. 

You pressed your hand over your mouth as he started to hit the perfect spot inside you, but your moans were still loud. 

“God, I love making you moan.” He groaned into your ear. 

“Oh fuck, Troy.” You whined, head tilted back into the pillow. “It feels so good.” 

“It does.” He agreed throatily before he sucked your earlobe into his mouth. 

You felt your climax building, and Troy’s breathing started becoming more labored. 

You clung to his shoulders as he started to move faster. “Mm, I’m so close.” 

“Me too, baby. You’re so perfect.” He mumbled against your neck. 

He trailed his hand to your clit and rubbed it rapidly. 

“Oh fuck!” You moaned before you bit down on your hand before you came. 

Troy buried his face in your neck and pushed his hips forward and released inside you. He sighed heavily and kissed your neck and up to your lips. 

You kissed him back sweetly before he rolled off you and flopped onto his back. He pulled the condom off and tossed it in the trash can. 

“Fuck.” He groaned. 

He pulled your torso against his so your back was against his chest. He nuzzled your neck, his breath still coming out in little pants. 

You were quiet for a moment, catching your breath. Your eyes were started to drift shut before Troy kissed your ear. 

“Think you'll remember that?” He asked. 

You smiled. “I think I will.”


	9. Hold Your Breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been so long. I've had writer's block and I am back in school now :(   
> Also, I'm sorry that most of this chapter is smut, it's hard to write at this point and I don't really want to write about the Clark's coming to the ranch because that's boring to me and I don't want to write about stuff I don't like, ya know?  
>  I might end this story soon, but I'm not sure yet.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy. :)

You felt a little hollow when you woke up, knowing that Troy would be gone in a few hours. Troy was still asleep, his arm wrapped around your stomach. You wished you could see his face, admire him as he slept, but he was the big spoon and you liked feeling his heart beating against your back.

You could also feel something else against your back. Something that drew heat between your legs.

You bit your lip and traced your fingertips down his arm after a little while to wake him up. 

He sighed and pressed his face deeper in your hair. 

You wiggled your ass against his erection, and his sigh turned into a groan.

His hand slid up to cup your breast. You hummed in satisfaction.

You felt his lips on the back of your neck, but you pulled away. You threw the sheets back and climbed on top of Troy, silencing him before he spoke by leaning down and kissing him.

He ran his hands liberally across your bare skin, and after his hands found purchase on your ass, you pulled away again.

You reached over to Troy's night stand, ripped a condom free and out of the foil. You moved back and slid the condom down Troy's length before you positioned yourself to sink down onto him.

Once your hips met his, you didn’t feel hollow any more.

Troy had his head pressed back into the pillow, and you watched his throat bob in the early morning light before he muttered, “God.”

His voice was deep from sleep and it turned you on even more.

You started rocking your hips gently, before building up to sliding up and down Troy's member. 

You had your hands braced on his stomach, and he steadied you further by holding onto your thighs. 

You let out a deep moan and picked up your pace. 

You tried to keep your moans to a minimum, but riding him felt so good. This angle made him hit the most delicious spots inside you. 

Troy sat up after a little bit, and you gasped as he moved within you. He wrapped one arm around your back and kept the other on the bed for support.

“You’re so Goddamn sexy, you know that?” he murmured. 

You hummed in satisfaction as he leaned forward to suck on your neck. You wove one hand into his hair and tightly gripped his shoulder with the other as you bounced in his lap.

You let out a sharp gasp when you felt his teeth sink into your skin, but it ended as an erotic moan.

“Shh,” he murmured against your throat.

“Mm, can’t help it. I’m so close.” You said. “You feel so good.”

Troy twisted you around and pushed you, gently, so you were on your back. He managed not to slip out from inside you, and began thrusting quickly.

“Come for me, baby.” He whispered above you.

His fingers rubbed your clit and you clapped your hand over your mouth as you felt white hot pleasure coursing through your entire body.

You came hard, arms going limp and mind being overcome with bliss. You could still feel Troy pumping inside you, and that only made your orgasm better.

You lay there silently, blissed out as Troy came to his orgasm. When he was done, he pulled out of you but surprised you by shifting slightly and laying down so he could rest against you and press his forehead against your temple. He cupped the other side of your head with his hand.

His weight felt surprisingly good against you. You grabbed onto his arm with both hands, and he flexed his fingers against your hair.

“That was amazing,” Troy murmured. “You’re amazing.”

You hummed in agreement. You had never felt more satiated in your whole life. Never felt more at peace. You honestly felt like you could stay like this forever. 

But you knew you couldn’t.

You let yourself enjoy Troy's embrace and the softness of his breath against your cheek for a few more minutes before you rubbed your thumbs over his arm. “Baby.” 

He merely hummed.

“Troy, we gotta get up.”

“Fuck. I’m tired.” He groaned. He still hadn't moved.

“Me too. But I think we could both use a shower.” You said.

Troy made a non-committal sound.

You pulled his hand away from your head, and kissed it a few times. “You made me all sweaty, so it's only fair that you clean me up.”

Troy smirked a little. “I guess you’re right.”

He got out of bed and surprised you by pulling you into his arms so he could carry you.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“I don’t want to let you go yet.” He said simply. But it felt like the words had more meaning.

You didn’t say anything but tapped his chin lightly with your thumb.

Troy walked over to the bathroom and set you down. The tile was cool against your bare feet. Troy turned on the water and you combed your fingers through your hair before you followed him under the spray.

You looked up at him shyly once you closed the door. “I’ve never showered with anyone before.”

Troy gave you that boyish smile of his. “Me neither. Should be just the same, don’t you think? Maybe a little more fun?”

You shoved his chest lightly, trying to stop your grin. “Pass me the shampoo.”

He grinned wider and did as he was told. He moved out of the way so you could step under the spray. Then you lathered up your hair, and caught Troy watching you. You thought you saw a flush across his cheeks, but you smiled at him gently.

You handed him the shampoo, traded places with him, and rinsed your hair out. You felt Troy’s hands on your face, and he pulled you forward from the spray to kiss you.

You hummed against his lips, reciprocating his enthusiastic kiss. “What’s this all about?” You asked when you pulled away to breath.

“You’re... so beautiful.”

You blushed, but leaned back in to kiss him. You combed your fingers through Troy’s wet locks, and his hands slid down your wet skin. He held your waist for a few moments before he squeezed your ass. 

You pulled away, but kept your fingers in his hair. “As much as I want that, we have to get down for breakfast.”

Troy sighed. “Okay, you’re right. At least let me help you out, then.”

You watched him grab a bar of soap and raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you mean?”

“I’m cleaning you up.” He murmured before he started running the soap across your skin, followed by gentle caresses of his free hand. Over your collar bones, down your arms, lightly over your breasts and stomach. The action of Troy washing you was very intimate, and it was turning you on. 

He even got down on his knees to rub the soap over your legs, and when he reached the apex between your thighs he looked up at you. His pupils were wide with lust.

You bit your lip, but nodded in permission.

Troy gently placed one of your legs over his shoulder and abandoned the soap. He cupped your butt with one hand and gripped your thigh with the other as he leaned in to run his tongue over your folds.

It was almost embarrassing how that already had you leaned back against the cold tile of the shower. You braced one hand against the wall and grabbed Troy's head with your other hand.

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned. You hoped the water was loud enough to drown out your sounds.

Troy pushed 2 fingers inside you and fluttered his tongue over your clit. 

After a minute or so, you glanced down at Troy briefly. His eyes were closed in concentration, but then they opened. They were so blue against the steam from the water. 

He gave your clit a particularly hard suck and you leaned your head back again, fisting his hair tighter.

“God, Troy.”

Your clit started to pulse and a few moments later your orgasm hit you. You felt a little dazed and the steam from the shower wasn’t helping. When Troy lowered your leg bag down to the ground, you knees began to shake.

He stood up and wrapped his arms around your waist to support you.

You were breathing heavily, and Troy spoke first. “Definitely more fun than showering alone.”

You swatted at him with a grin and pressed your face into his neck. “You’re bad.”

“But it feels so _good_.”

You groaned unintelligibly and granted a quick kiss to his damp skin before you pulled away. You located the soap and picked it up. 

Troy shampooed his hair and you washed between your legs. You rinsed off and stepped out of the shower before Troy. You dried yourself with a towel and entered the bedroom to change into some clothes.

You were toweling your hair dry as Troy got changed. You couldn’t deny that he looked handsome in his uniform, but you were upset to see him in it as it made the fact that he was leaving more real.

You hung up your towel in the washroom and walked over to the door. You crossed your arms over your chest and leaned against the door frame of the bathroom, watching Troy tuck his shirt in his pants and secure his belt.

He turned around and crossed his own arms over his chest when he saw you watching him. 

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing.” You said, trying to pull off a smile. You failed.

“Come here.” Troy said.

You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him immediately, pressing your face into his chest.

Troy stroked your hair. “I don’t want you to be upset.” 

You turned your face so your cheek was against him. “I don’t want to be either, but I am. Last night was amazing and so was this morning and I’m going to miss being beside you for a month.” 

Troy cupped your face and tilted it up to his. “It was amazing. I’m going to miss you too, baby. But I’ll be back before you know it. Everything’s going to be okay.”

You bit your lip before you spoke. “Okay.” 

Troy leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Let's go get breakfast.”

You nodded and let Troy guide you downstairs. 

You both ignored Jeremiah, who was sitting at his desk, and went to the dining tent.

Troy sat beside you and kept a hand on your thigh as you ate, comforting you a little.

A couple of the guys came by, confirming things with Troy and asking about details for the assignment. You could tell he was giving them quick responses, so they’d shoo for your sake. Other than that, no one came to sit with you. You were grateful for the alone time with Troy.

After you finished breakfast, you went back to brush your teeth and for Troy to grab his bag. You held his hand tight in yours as you walked to his truck.

Mostly everything was ready, you looked at the lineup of vehicles with dread as Troy tossed his bag in the trunk.

You noticed Troy’s notebook in his back pocket before he turned back around. You hadn’t seen him with it much recently.

“Looks like the guys have everything packed up.” Troy said.

“Mm hmm.” 

“Yeah, no thanks to you.” Someone said behind you.

You turned to see Jake. 

Troy chuckled. “You’re just jealous that you don’t have someone to wake up to.”

You felt your cheeks flush a little.

“No, I just don’t want to be picking up all your slack.” Jake said lightly.

“Don’t worry, brother. This is the only slack from me. I swear.”

“Alright. Well, we’re about ready to go now.” Jake said. “See you later, Clara.”

“Bye, Jake.” You stepped forward and gave him a quick hug. “Be safe. Take care of my man.”

Jake was grinning when he pulled away. “I will.” He headed off and you turned back to Troy.

“Funny.” He said.

You grinned at him, but your grin faded when you heard engines start to run. You were starting to become overwhelmed with dread.

Troy reached out and cupped your cheek. “I won’t be gone that long. You’ll see.”

You shook your head. “4 weeks is a long time, Troy.”

“Don’t worry, baby.” He kissed you chastely. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

You closed your eyes and nodded. You felt Troy’s other hand on the small of your back, and he pulled you flush against him. He tilted your face up and pressed his lips to yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back hard. His tongue dipped briefly into your mouth, and you pushed your tongue against his eagerly before he sealed his lips back over yours.

When he pulled away, he had taken your breath with him. “Bye, baby. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too.” You said, letting him go.

Troy got in the truck, and you felt a blush on your cheeks when you realized that Mike and Coop had got in the truck at some point. You raised your hand to them in a little wave, and they nodded back at you. Coop waggled his eyebrows at you and you blushed even harder.

The window was rolled down, so you leaned your arms against the door.

“Troy,” you said as he started the engine.

“Yeah?” he looked back to you, sensing the urgency in your voice.

“I...” you bit your lip. “Be safe.”

Troy gave you a funny look. “Thanks, baby.”

“Bye,” you said softly, before you stepped away from the truck.

Troy gave you one last meaningful look before he put the truck in drive and drove away.

You watched the line of vehicles until they disappeared. 

And the hollow feeling reappeared.

*

You walked like one of the dead through the rest of the day. 

When you went up to the house, Jeremiah opened the door before you could. He blocked the way with his body.

“Evening, sir.” You said, eyes narrowing slightly at his actions.

“Evening. Now seeing as Troy’s gone, I don’t think there's any need for you to be staying in the house.”

_Seriously?_ What was with this dude?

“Jeremiah, no disrespect, but what is your problem with me?”

He gave you a hard look. “You’re Troy's to deal with, not mine. He took it upon himself to take you in, and he’s taken it upon himself to take care of you.”

“I’m not really sure how you mean. I’m an adult, I don’t need anyone to take care of me as if I’m a child.” You said firmly.

“You keep telling me that you’re together and he keeps saying that you are _his_ girl so I’m just letting it be that way.”

“So that means I’m not allowed to sleep in Troy's room?”

“Not if Troy’s not here, considering it’s Troy’s room. And it's still my house. Listen girl, you got your own tent. Most people don’t get that.” Jeremiah squinted his eyes.

You held back an irritated sigh. “Okay. I’ll go back to my tent. Would you please let me gather my things?”

“Five minutes.” Jeremiah said before he stood aside. 

You tried not to storm up the stairs and you grabbed your backpack from the closet and opened the drawer where you had so neatly folded all of your clothes. You stuffed everything in your bag and as you slung it over your shoulder, you looked into Troy's closet. 

His green windbreaker caught your eye. You snatched it from the closet and put it in your bag. If you couldn’t have Troy or sleep in his room, this jacket would have to do. 

You gazed longingly at the bed before you went back downstairs and stopped in front of Jeremiah. “It actually makes me sad that you don’t understand the relationship I have with Troy. I’m not just his… lover. We mean something to each other.”

“I don’t need to hear anything more. Have a nice night.”

You gave him a hard look before you replied. “Thank you, sir. You as well.”

You turned on your heel and went down to your tent. You threw your bag down and pulled out Troy’s jacket. You put it on and lay down on the cot.

You’d never understand why Jeremiah didn’t like you being with Troy. Yeah sure maybe he didn’t like that you were sleeping together but he should honestly have gotten over that a while ago. You were more than just sex. 

You turned onto your back and stared at the ceiling of the tent. You definitely missed the comfort of Troy's bed, but you missed his warm presence beside you even more.

You remembered the notebook in Troy's pocket and worried your bottom lip with your teeth. You really hoped he wasn’t going to get himself into any trouble. You knew he wouldn’t get over his fascination with the dead until he found some kind of answer. But you didn’t want him to be actively searching for it by killing people and letting them turn.

You hugged his jacket tighter around yourself and tried to stop the thoughts racing through your mind.

*

Days passed on and you tried to ignore how much you missed Troy. You worked in the gardens everyday, ate your meals with Gretchen, even spent time with her around the fire. Gretchen’s company paled in comparison to Troy’s, but she was sweet and her youth reminded you of your brother. 

Every night you went to bed alone in your tent. Every minute on the cot made you miss being beside Troy in his bed even more. 

You'd been more often plagued by nightmares without Troy beside you and it was hard for you. You just wanted him back with you.

As it turned out, you didn’t have to wait an entire 4 weeks to see Troy again.

One day as you were working, you heard a commotion and turned your attention to the gates. There were several vehicles on their way to the ranch, and you recognized them to be militia trucks.

You dropped your gloves to the ground and ran over to the gate. You saw Troy's head of curls and stopped in your tracks when you saw a bloody bandage over his right eye.

You snapped out of it when Troy hopped out of the truck. You noticed a blonde woman and a boy around your age in the truck that you didn’t recognize. You ignored that for a moment and headed for Troy. He was talking to his father.

Jeremiah was pushing Troy away when you neared them.

“Go get yourself looked at.” Jeremiah said gruffly.

Troy began to walk toward you and he froze when he saw you. You couldn’t quite read the expression in his eye, maybe regret and relief mixed together. His mouth was pursed.

You finally found your voice. “Troy.” You breathed out. “Oh my God, baby what happened to you?”

His face changed a little, and you watched his hands clench and unclench. You slowly walked towards him and when you were a foot away he dropped to his knees.

You hesitated before you stepped up to him and took his face in your hands. He pressed his face into your stomach and wrapped his arms around your hips.

You felt his body shaking and you didn’t know what to do, so you just stroked his hair.


	10. Captivate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry that it has been so long. I am done school now but was seriously lacking any motivation to finish this chapter. I want the chapters I put out to be written with the best of my amateur abilities.   
> Let me know what you think!  
> As always, enjoy :)  
> xo

You waited for Troy to get looked at in the infirmary and tried not to squirm when you saw his eye. It was red and swollen and it looked really painful. The old bandage was stained dark with blood. After he was cleaned up and had a new bandage, he took your hand stiffly and silently walked you up to the house. 

Earlier, you had never seen him so vulnerable. Now his face was like stone. You wanted to say something, but he looked so rigid that you decided against it. 

He practically pulled you up the stairs and into his room. He shut the door but didn’t turn around to face you. You saw his hand curl into a fist against the wood. 

You carefully placed your hand on his shoulder blade, and he turned around quickly. He took your face in his hands and his uncovered eye darted back and forth between yours. 

You couldn’t read his expression, but he ducked his head and kissed you fiercely. You squeaked a little in surprise but closed your eyes and savored feeling his lips on yours. You let him ravage your mouth for a few moments before you pulled away. 

“Troy, talk to me. What happened?” You urged. 

“I fucking missed you.” Was all he said. He leaned in to capture your lips again, but you stopped him with your hand on his chest. 

“I missed you too, Troy. But I need you to talk to me. I’m worried about you.” 

Troy sighed but let go of your face. He walked around you and sat down heavily on the bed. He settled his forearms on his knees and hunched over a little. You sat down beside him, slightly concerned, and placed your hand on his back. 

“What’s going on?” You asked. 

“I fucked up, Clara.” He muttered. 

“What happened, why are you back already?” 

“We were doing our thing, keeping patrol of the border and whatnot and these people came and fucked everything up.” Troy said vaguely. 

“I don’t really understand. What were you actually doing?” You asked. 

Troy shook his head. “You'll be mad if I tell you.” 

“I would rather you be honest with me than not tell me something that might upset me.” You said gently. 

Troy sighed in frustration and scratched the back of his neck. “My dad doesn’t want people crossing the border. Especially not any Mexicans. If we caught people trying to cross, we'd take them into our facility. I made sure we took them especially if they'd been bitten.” 

Your hand fell from his back. Your stomach began to fill with dread as you began to realize what Troy had been doing. You guessed you shouldn’t have been shocked that he had started experimenting again, because you'd seen the notebook in his pocket before he left. 

“Okay.” You said quietly. “I understand.” 

Troy cleared his throat. “Anyway, we took this family and things went sideways. A woman, her boyfriend, and her two kids plus a Mexican girl. The woman stabbed a spoon into my eye socket.” 

Your lips parted in shock. That must have hurt _a lot_. What did Troy do to provoke that? 

“What happened to her and her family?” You asked. Surely Troy wouldn’t let anyone get away with doing that to him. 

“The compound got overrun not long after, and we had to evacuate. The dead had come in through the sewers and they took over the facility. We lost a lot of people. Jake took the helicopter and three of the people with the woman, and I took the other two.” 

“Wait, you’re telling me that the woman who almost spooned your fucking eye out is here on the ranch?” you asked incredulously. They must have been the people you didn’t recognize in the truck. 

“Yeah.” 

You stood up. “What the _fuck_? Why? Where is she?” 

“Probably in one of the cabins. My dad is looking after them. He's not happy with me right now.” 

You turned and headed for the door, but Troy caught your wrist. 

“Where are you going?” he asked. 

“To see this bitch and ask her what her fucking problem is.” You said, looking back at him.

“No, no, no. You can’t.” 

“I can, let me go. I want to talk to her.” 

“Clara, stop. You can’t go see her.” 

“Why the hell not?” You asked.

“Just leave it, please Clara. Jake’s the only reason I still have my eye. I fucked up.” He sounded so defeated. 

You clenched your jaw, but you stopped trying to pull away. “This makes no fucking sense. What did you do to make this lady stab you in the eye?” 

“I separated her and her daughter from the men and the Mexican girl, who was shot. I wouldn’t let her see them.” 

“Where did you keep the men? And the other girl?” 

“They were all together, waiting to… take part in my experiment.” 

You sighed and pulled your wrist out of Troy’s grasp. “Did that at least make you think about what you were doing?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You got stabbed in the fucking eye for what you were doing.” 

“I guess. Whatever, Clara. I told you I fucked up. Okay?” 

“Whatever, Troy.” You threw back at him, crossing your arms over your chest. 

He sighed. “I told you you’d be mad.” 

“I’m more upset that you got hurt because of what you were doing.” You said, even though you didn’t like that he started experimenting again. 

Troy looked at you but said nothing. 

“How are you going to be able to live with these people on the ranch?” You asked. 

“I don’t know. But my dad is going to let them stay, probably just to spite me.” 

You sighed. You guess Troy really had fucked up. “This really sucks, Troy.” 

“I know, Clara.” His voice was hard. 

“And I can’t promise you I’m not going to go psycho on that woman if I see her.” 

Troy gave you a look. “I need you to promise that you won’t.” 

You stared at him. Into the defeated eye not covered by a bandage. You couldn’t believe he almost lost an eye. You didn’t want things to be any more difficult for him. 

You looked at the floor. “Fine.” 

“Good.” Troy said in relief. After a few moments of tense silence, he spoke again. “Clara?” 

“Mm hmm?” you glanced up at him 

“I need…” his expression was softening. “Let me hold you. Please.” 

His voice came out small, and your heart melted. You walked to the bed and lay down on your side quietly. Troy came behind you and wrapped his arm around your stomach. 

“I really did miss you.” He said. 

You didn’t say anything. 

“And… I’m sorry about what happened. I hate letting you down.” His voice was so quiet.

You wondered if that was true. 

“I missed you, too.” You finally said. 

You turned around in his arms and Troy rolled onto his back. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your forehead. 

You were both quiet for a long time. Troy’s breathing evened out and he let out a little snore. You laughed softly at how cute he was. You tried to maneuver out of his arms as carefully as you could to not wake him. 

Once you were out of his arms, you made a move to get off the bed. Unfortunately, the box spring squeaked, and you felt Troy’s hand close around your wrist. His grip was firm but not tight. 

“Where are you going?” He asked. 

You looked over your shoulder. “Washroom.” You lied. 

Troy gave you a look. “I really meant it when I said you can’t go see Madison.” 

So, her name was _Madison_. “I can’t even just talk to her?” 

“No. Not today, anyway. You’ll end up having to meet her at some point, but I’m sure you’ll be less… angry then.” 

“I'm more than just angry.” You didn’t make a move to settle back onto the bed. 

Troy sighed and spoke in a stern voice. “Clara, I will strap you to this bed if you keep-” 

You rolled your eyes. “There's no need for that. I’ll stop.” 

“Good.” He let you go after a second. 

You stepped back and leaned against his desk. You couldn't help but notice the way his eye roved over you. His pupil was dilated. 

“You're sexy when you’re all wound up.” Troy said. 

You raised an eyebrow at him, ending with a pointed look. Was he really thinking about sex right now? 

“So sexy when you look at me like that.” He said, his tongue darted out to wet his lips. 

“I’m not in the mood.” You said honestly, hugging your elbows. 

Troy sighed, visibly displeased, but he nodded. “Okay, baby. But tell me when you are, because I’ve fucking missed you, missed your beautiful body. I missed being inside you with all that time apart, and my hand could never compare to you.” 

You felt your insides flare up with heat but you tried not to let it show on your face. It was hot – incredibly hot – to hear him say those things, but you wouldn’t be able to look at him without thinking of him killing people or waiting for those who were bitten to turn. Not with the evidence of his bullshit hidden behind a bandage. 

“Sure, baby.” Was all you said. 

You thought you saw his face fall, but he recovered quickly. 

You finally had Troy back, but right now, you felt like you didn’t want to be near him. 

How the fuck were you supposed to tell him that? 

You cleared your throat. “I think you should get some rest.” It wasn’t a suggestion. 

Troy's eye searched yours. “Okay.” He finally said. 

“I’ll see you at dinner, okay?” 

“Sure.” Troy said unenthusiastically. 

You walked to the door and left without looking back, your heart feeling heavy in your chest. 

* 

Instead of going back to work in the gardens, you went to your tent to be alone with your thoughts. 

It was so frustrating to know that Troy had been experimenting again. You knew he wouldn’t be over it so quickly after meeting you, but you wished he hadn't been given such a big opportunity to do it. 

Didn’t his men think it was strange? Or did they find it interesting too? What did Jake say to Troy? You remember how quiet Jake was when he first told you about Troy. Surely Jake didn’t encourage his behavior. 

At first, you had been curious about what brought the dead to life. But after living through the horror for a while, you stopped questioning and just understood that that’s how the world was now. 

But you weren’t afflicted with a mental illness like Troy. He was different. 

You sighed and flopped down on your back on the cot. You pinched the bridge of your nose. You hated how frustrated you were. 

You had thought your reunion with Troy would be amazing, you had been so excited to see him again because you had missed him so bad. But instead, this is what you got. You felt like he was a little different. You weren’t sure if you knew how to talk to him. 

You couldn't believe that you had almost said those three words to Troy before he left… 

This was killing you. Half of you wanted to go back and kiss him and half of you wanted to avoid him. 

Maybe you didn’t want to be alone with your thoughts. 

You got up from your cot and stormed out of your tent. You almost headed back up to the house, but you went back to the gardens instead. 

When one of the women asked you if you were happy to have Troy back, you just smiled and nodded. 

You tried not to talk to anyone for the rest of the afternoon. 

* 

When you went for dinner, Troy was already there. You froze in tracks a little as your eyes met his. 

You didn’t know if you should sit with him or not. You decided that it would be weird if you didn’t, so you went to him and sat down beside him quietly. 

You didn’t look at him but picked up your fork and began to eat your dinner. 

You could feel Troy's eye on you, but you ignored him. You thought you heard him sigh but he didn’t say anything to you. 

You couldn’t see any new faces, so you assumed that Madison and her son hadn’t joined everyone yet. You probably would have stabbed your fork through her hand if you saw her. 

Dinner was eaten in silence. It wasn’t just your table though; you could sense the tension everywhere. 

When you made a move to stand up and put away your tray, Troy put his hand on your arm. 

You turned your head sharply to look at him. He looked upset. 

“Can we talk?” he asked, his eye wide. 

You bit your lip but nodded. 

He stood up and you both put away your trays. You watched him restrain himself from taking your hand, and he merely walked in front of you up to the house. 

He sat down in his usual spot on the porch and you sat beside him. You left a foot between the two of you and swung your legs slightly as they dangled off the porch. You waited for Troy to speak. 

“I hate that you’re mad at me.” Troy started. “But I understand why you are.” 

You glanced over at him, but he was staring straight ahead. 

“I know when we met, I said I’d stop when I found answers. I think you thought that was good enough, back then. But I hadn’t been able to keep experimenting after we got closer. There were no opportunities to, and I honestly didn’t feel like I needed to.” 

“Why not?” You asked with a furrowed brow. He had seemed really passionate about it when you first asked him about his experimenting.

“Because,” Troy said, glancing over at you, “I wanted to learn everything about _you_.” 

“Oh.” You said dumbly. You felt your heart flutter a little at that comment, felt a flush start to creep up your chest. 

“I haven’t quite learned everything, baby. You still always find ways to amaze me.” 

You felt your cheeks flush too, and you looked down at your lap. 

“But when my dad told me I was being sent to the compound I remembered my research. Big Otto wanted us to protect the border, and he said to kill anyone who resisted us. He didn’t say how, so I took that into my own hands. I remembered that I wasn’t done trying to understand what brings back the dead, and I wanted to get back to it. I think I may have gone overboard.” 

You were quiet. 

“But what I take away from all of this, is that you make me better. Better than I ever could have thought to be without you in my life.” 

“Do you mean that?” Your voice came out smaller than you intended. His words had touched you deeply. 

“I do. And I appreciate it, Clara. I appreciate you.” Troy said sincerely, gently placing his hand on your thigh. 

You closed your eyes, not pulling away from his touch. 

“I’m sorry for the trouble I cause you.” He said. 

You opened your eyes and took his hand in yours. You kissed his knuckles. “I forgive you.” 

He cupped your jaw, eye darting to your lips. He started to draw away, but you leaned forward and kissed him. 

He seemed a little surprised at first, his lips unmoving against your own. But you wrapped your arms around his neck and scooted your body closer to his. That seemed to snap him out of his shock and his hands closed around your waist. 

His lips moved with fervor against yours, his tongue sliding into your mouth to stroke your own. 

You had to push on his chest so you could pull away from him to breathe. Troy just moved his kisses down your throat instead. He suckled at the skin, rolled it between his teeth. 

“Oh!” you moaned. “Troy, let's go upstairs.” 

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He said huskily, pulling you up with him. 

You seemed to race up the stairs and it was you that pushed Troy up against the door when it was closed. You kissed his lips briefly before you lifted his shirt up. He pulled it over his head and dropped it to the floor. You trailed your lips down his chest and stomach and kneeled before him, hands unbuckling his belt. 

After you undid his fly, you looked up at his face as you dragged his pants and briefs down his legs. 

Troy was semi-hard and you stroked him with your hand until he was fully erect. You teased him by swirling your tongue around the tip, but Troy grabbed the back of your head. 

“Come on, baby. Don't tease me.” He said evenly. 

You took him in your mouth then, keeping one hand around the base as you pumped him in time with the movements of your head. Troy's hand curled in your hair and you were surprised at how much that turned you on. 

After several minutes, you used your free hand to fondle his sac, and Troy groaned loudly. 

“I’m going to come.” He warned. 

You sucked more and heard Troy let out a string of curses before you felt his cum down your throat. 

You hollowed out your cheeks before you pulled off him and swallowed, wiping the back of your hand over your mouth. 

“God damn, baby. Your mouth is incredible.” 

You flushed at the compliment. 

Troy grasped at your shoulders and pulled you up, so you were standing. 

“Take off your clothes, I want to see all of you.” He demanded.

You hesitated a little but began to take off your clothes. Your flush remained until you were naked, but the way his eye seemed to drink in the sight of you made you feel good. 

He had kicked his pants and underwear off, and you stood about a foot apart, completely bare to each other. 

Troy broke the silence. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” 

Your cheeks burned hotter. 

He stepped closer to you and his hand reached out to cradle the back of your head. 

You tilted your face up so Troy could kiss you, and he kissed you fiercely. You wrapped your arms around his neck. 

He lifted you by the hips and carried you over to the bed. Oh God, yes the bed, and _yes_ the feeling of Troy’s skin on yours. 

You moaned happily against his lips and wove your fingers through his curls. 

“I can't wait to be inside you.” Troy mumbled. 

“Then don’t wait, Troy. Let me feel you, baby.” You urged. 

Troy kissed you fiercely for a second before he drew away to get a condom from his nightstand. 

Your heart beating rapidly in your chest as you waited for him. You bit your lip and wove your fingers back into his hair as he took your knee and put it over his hip. 

When he pushed into you, you forgot all the bad things that had happened and all the bad things that were likely to come. 

“God,” Troy moaned against your cheek. “I feel like it's been way too long.” 

You sighed and scratched his scalp. “I wouldn’t disagree.” 

He chuckled. “I missed you.” 

“Missed you too, baby.” You said softly. 

Troy kissed your lips before he pulled his hips back and began to thrust with a steady rhythm. 

Your hands roamed freely over Troy's body. He fucked you gentle and sweet, and only when your teeth clamped down on your hand did Troy pick up his pace and snake his hand down your body to rub your clit.

“Tell me how good I feel inside you.” Troy murmured.

“Oh!” You whined. “You feel so good baby, the way you stretch me out… fuck!”

“This is much better than anything I could put together in my head, baby. Nothing’s quite as soft and warm as you.”

“Oh, Troy.” You moaned.

“You’re perfect, Clara. You feel perfect around me.”

He pressed harder against your clit, increasing the speed of his fingers rubbing you. You pressed your head back into the pillow, and your walls pulsed around Troy's shaft before you came. 

Troy groaned and he fucked you for a few more minutes before his hand tightened around your thigh before his pressed his hips hard against yours and came. 

“Oh, Clara.” He said breathily, letting his weight rest against you. 

You whined a little and pawed at his sweaty back. 

“Sorry, baby. Just forgot how good it feels to be with you.” He kissed your cheek before he pulled out and rolled off you. 

He collapsed onto his back and tossed the condom in the trash. You waited a couple minutes to catch your breath before you went to the washroom to freshen up. 

When you were done you came back out and climbed under the covers, pulling the blankets over Troy as well. You snuggled up next to him and rested your head on his shoulder. 

Peaceful minutes passed, and you enjoyed the warmth of the covers and Troy's body. 

Troy was quiet, and he was absently rubbing his thumb along your shoulder. You craned your neck to look at his face, and his eyebrows were furrowed. 

“What's wrong?” you asked. 

“I’m worried about Jake. He should have been back by now.” 

“Oh, yeah. He took the helicopter, right?” 

“Yeah.” Troy sucked his teeth. “Something’s wrong.” 

You were quiet for a moment. You stroked your hand over his chest. “I'm sure he's okay, baby.” 

“My father won’t let me go out in search for him until tomorrow probably.” 

“If Jake grew up the same way as you, I’m sure he’ll be able to get through the night.” 

“I'm more worried about the people he’s with than what he’d face out there.” 

You chewed on your lip. “Jake is smart. You said he’s the reason you still have your eye. I know he'll be okay. Whatever happened, I’m sure he'll make camp for the night and be here tomorrow.” 

“I hope you’re right.” Troy said after a second. 

You leaned in and kissed his neck. “Try not to worry, baby. You should get some sleep.” 

Troy planted his lips on your forehead. “Okay.” 

He didn’t sound very convincing, but you gave his skin another kiss before you settled against him and let your eyes drift shut.


End file.
